What if every day you had to choose...?

I have often said that relationships
are a choice, and that when a person
feels committed to another, instead
of recognizing the commitment, the
person sometimes feels as though s/he
no longer has a choice and - in some
cases - sets out to prove otherwise.

The fact is that there is always a
choice, and the choice may be to simply
affirm the choice already made.

I got to wondering if we had to daily
make the choice to be in a relationship,
or lose it by default, what would happen.

Would people feel compelled to make the
choice from a place of fear? Would they
freely choose it? If things were going
badly that day would they let it go
without much effort to work it out?

Would they choose the relationship they
committed to because it is a relationship
they wanted to be in?

In some ways our life is set up with
default settings any way. Our lack of
action and choice will often give us
our experience of life, and the inaction
will be a choice by default.

Is it comforting to know that choices
are made without your conscious consent
and with your lack of participation?

I guess that would depend on the outcome.

While I am speaking about relationships,
this conversation could work for all
kinds of things, and non-romantic
relationships, as well.

If you're brave enough, you might want to
ask yourself if you had to choose the
people and things in your life all over
again, right now, would you?

If the answer is "yes," then you can
choose them again, and reinforce their
presence in your life.

If the answer is "no," then you might
want to consider what it is that is
lacking so that you might be able to
"add it in," and therefore make a
different choice.

If you're unable to "add it in," then
you might want to consider that it is
time to make some different choices.
And, if that is the case, odds are you
already know some of the options (really,
you likely do - you'd be surprised how
we hide things from ourselves sometimes),
you just have to be willing to acknowledge
them and choose them for them to
become viable options for you.

As with most things...easy? Ha!
But worth it? Can't say for sure, but
odds are, yes.

A new calendar year is almost upon us
so you may even be considering resolutions.
While I am not really a fan of them, any
opportunity to review where we are and
where we're going can be a good thing.