Apparently science has now discovered
that there is an area of the hypothalamus
that is bigger in men than it is in women,
and has more cells. This may mean something
because it is the area of the brain that
makes us feel turned on.
The hypothalamus sends us signals that
tell us that we feel safe. For women,
that includes sending the message that
it is safe and comfortable to have sex -
which can (in general) take a while.
Combine that with the perceived fact
that testosterone is 10 times more
"effective" in males than it is in women,
no wonder there seems to be a disconnect
once in a while. ;)
According to the article in Cosmo (1/11)
that explains these facts, a massage can
help a woman by helping to release oxytoxin,
a "feel good hormone." Another suggestion
is to get some "romantic exercise" like
dancing, as it increases the testosterone
levels.
As I read this, and share it, I wonder if
guys consider things like this as "work."
Sometimes it seems that guys are ready to
"shoot when (they're) ready," which often
may not take much prep or effort.
Not to say this as in something is "wrong,"
but rather as an observation of what the
dynamic may be between two people with
disparate physical functions and needs and...
a consideration of the potential maze of
other things that seem to come into play
in regard to the sexual dynamic. As with
anything, I think the more we are aware of,
the more able we are to navigate the waters
of territory we think we know, and uncover
things we didn't know.
Still...sometimes it is a wonder we manage
to get in sync at all, don't you think?
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Yes it is amazing (we get in sync at all). I find backrubs cause my partner to relax to the point that she just want to sleep. However giving backrubs certainly arouses me.
ReplyDeleteI can agree with Soirbh62 on the back-rubbing thing. But while all of these differences makes sense, I for one am glad they're there. It's the differences that make our interactions so interesting. As long as they don't get dangerous, adapting to someone different is a joy a lot of people take for granted.
ReplyDeleteI actually brought up this topic at dinner. My partner contradicted my earlier post and said that backrubs are arousing to her. The most likely place for me to give her a backrub is in line at Wal-Mart or Sam's Club. I've always wondered what thoughts were going through the heads of other women watching. ;-)
ReplyDeleteDancing however does nothing for her.
Interesting comments.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your contributions to the conversation.
Me-chan, enjoying another person with an open mind can be quite rewarding. I can't tell you how many times someone didn't know what to expect from me, and got more than they imagined possible.
Soirbh, now that you know what you do about your wife and back rubs, I can't help but wonder how your outings to WalMart and Sam's Club will be now. ;) I think it's great you had that conversation with her. Awesome!