A Reuter's recent study cited
the following 10 things as being
primarily responsible for the
demise of relationships.
1. Weight gain
2. Money issues
3. Anti-social working hours
4. Personal cleanliness
5. In-laws/extended family – too much/too little
6. Lack of romance
7. Alcohol abuse
8. Snoring
9. Lapsed fashion – wearing the same old clothes
10. Bathroom habits – stray nail cuttings, etc
What do you think of the list?
As some of them are certainly
the kind of thing that perspectives
may vary, I have to wonder if they
should really spell the end of a
relationship.
I also wonder if it might be a
cumulative thing. One thing might
be OK, two might be OK, but by the
time you get to the third - seemingly
insignificant thing (on its own) it
gets to be too much.
Relationships seem to be complex
mathematical equations that can
become even more complex over time
since people tend to bias their
futures on what has happened in
the past. As a result, feelings
from events that have nothing to
do with the present sometimes are
factored in.
I would think that the equation
could be simplified if people were
willing to recognize what they are
doing, and be willing to communicate
with themselves and their significant
other about what is really affecting
their emotions, words, and choices.
It's not about the weight - it's
about what the weight MEANS.
It's not about whether there is
romance or not - it's about whether
the person feels what s/he needs to
feel, and romance may be the conduit
for that feeling. With the thing
that feeds that feeling missing,
something else could take its place,
but the parties involved would need
to be aware enough to make that
happen.
Sometimes things can also cover up
other things. If people are
constantly doing romantic things,
it could be that they are wishing
to feel something that is lacking.
As a result, when the romance is
missing, what doesn't work shows
up more clearly. So, it isn't the
lack of romance that ends the
relationship, but rather the thing
the romance was covering up.
It is a wonder why in the midst of
all of this that people continue to
seek out intimacy with another.
Makes you think that a connection
with someone that really works is
worth the risk and that it is an
opportunity worth exploring,
doesn't it?
What are your thoughts?
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I hope that's not the correct order of things that seem to break up a relationship. If so, scared and surprised "lack of romance" would rank #6. The rest I can sum up in personality and happenstance.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty obvious that relationships aren't what they use to be. Maybe that's a judgement of a different generation, but it's a little scary to think how the current demographic (18-35 I'm guessing) is really so fickle now. Add to that there are so many ways to break up, and the divorce rate has probably never been higher, it's no wonder relationships often don't last.
Whether or not the romance covers up certain things, that really depends on what's being covered up. With the exception of some things, including cheating, I think love should be about taking the good with the bad. A bad that overshadows love (if it really is love) so much that it can't be overlooked, ignored, or tolerated; I'd hope it's something deathly serious. Otherwise, I'd wish people would realize that the bearing of small or medium-sized things that people might complain about each other work both ways. You have something you don't like about your partner? I can assure you he or she feels the same way. People looking for perfect compatibility should look into cloning. Everyone else, take the good with the bad and hope your heart, mind and all your other parts can agree that the good eclipses the bad a great deal.