Knowing When to Say When Vs Til Death Do We Part

Courtney Cox and David Arquette have split up.
Have you heard? Odds are most anyone reading
this couldn't care less about what the two of
them do, or don't do.

However, I found it interesting to see the
reaction of people to David's statements on
the Howard Stern Show.

What I find interesting is people judging
David and Courtney's reaction to each other.
I suppose there is no surprise there, given
how much people tend to judge.

However, what I experience when I read the
details are two people who seem to care very
much about each other as well as themselves.
Some might call that selfish, and label it
a bad thing.

The problem, as I see it, is that when one
starts to say "This is what's WRONG with you,"
it is never productive and can often lead
to potential stifling behavior. If it is
kept up long enough it can lead to passive
aggressive behavior, resentment, and other
types of things that aren't necessarily
healthy or helpful to an individual, or
a relationship.

I see what they are doing as quite healthy,
as it is allowing the other to be who the
other wants to be for their own best well
being and happiness. Yes, relationships
involve some level of compromise, but if
in the process of compromising, a person
is compromised, the relationship also will
also likely be, ultimately.

In a relationship, a person has various
options to interact with the other person,
none of which involves changing the other's
habits or personality. It all needs to
come from within, and while perspective
shifts can happen, they often don't, and
it's not necessarily because either party
is selfish. It might be that it's just
time to make a change.

Yes, relationships take work, but there
comes a time for some that "working on it"
ceases to work any more. When that happens,
the two people involved can love each other
enough to know that the time has come to
love one another at a distance, and that
can be the greatest gift of love that anyone
could ever give.