Seeing past the facade... | A blessing and a curse?

So...I am not usually one for absolutes
or extreme adjectives, but in this case
it seemed appropriate for the title of
what I am about to write.

For several years now I have known that
I have the ability to see past the way
a person presents him/herself to the
world. I am able to often see good
where there wouldn't appear to be any.

Because of that I give people leeway
that sometimes can be detrimental to
me and/or my emotions. I tell myself
that it's OK, and to come to situations
without expectations, but as human as
I am sometimes I don't always do a
terribly good job at protecting myself.

There is so much beauty that I see
within people, it can at times be
mesmerizing. I know that I can't be
the only person who is like this, but
I suspect that many people don't
recognize it for what it is.

While it can be a beautiful thing, it
can also be frustrating, hurtful,
and sometimes leave a person feeling
betrayed. Any person who has covered
up their more beautiful side has the
ability to bring it out instead.

Unfortunately not everyone who is
like that is able, willing, or
wanting to do that. In my mind, it
is sad for a few reasons. One is
definitely more personal, but there
is also the bigger world picture.

When we cover up the best part of us
and allow the parts of us that aren't
as compassionate and that just mow
down people and situations in the
name of things like "control," the
world suffers a loss.

It may seem silly to say that.
After all, can one person truly
make a difference? While some
would likely argue to minimize
one person and his or her experience,
I would suggest otherwise.

I would also suggest that minimizing
the personal experience serves no
real cause other than to justify
behaviors that aren't perhaps the
best ones to have around - for
anyone's benefit.

I like when I see the good in people,
and I can't really stop it. However,
I know that I need to learn to somehow
minimize my ability to interact with
those whose external selves do not
match with their internal ones...or
at least make something of an effort
to be in sync. Some people don't
even realize they are out of sync,
and some don't know how to change
things, but that doesn't mean I need
to sit by and allow myself to be
taken for a ride by them. I can't
control or change them, but I can
take responsibility for myself and
take care of myself and my needs.

It has been said "actions speak louder
than words." Sometimes the words we
"hear" are more a gut feeling of some
kind. As nice as it may be sometimes
to feel something wonderful, if it isn't
matched with a corresponding action,
it can really suck.

You may know your significant other
cares about you, but their actions
may say otherwise. It might be
something you are OK with, and works
for you, but if it doesn't, how long
are you going to be OK living in the
world without the tangible?

I don't know about you, but feelings
only go so far without something
tangible occurring to back it up.
And what that something is can be
self defined, so there is nothing
specific that I can tell you you need.
But you know what it is.

If you are not getting it, how long
are you going to allow yourself to
stay connected?

It isn't going to be easy to cut the
cord between someone you care about
and yourself, but knowing that you
deserve more certainly helps and is
a place to start. And when you can
take the steps to disconnect from a
situation that isn't working for you,
it allows you to be open to someone
who can be what you need mind, body,
and soul.