Want vs Right

I just watched Something Borrowed.  In it, there is a line about essentially forgetting about what you want, in favor of what is "right."

It often seems that "right" and "want" are often at odds with one another, and whenever that happens, the version of "right" that is referred to is one that often isn't, ironically, right for the person involved.

I have to wonder if there is some underlying hypnosis in our culture that basically tells us when in doubt about what to do with what we want, we "should" compromise ourselves in the process.  Of course, it is worded differently, "don't be so selfish," "think of others," often words to guilt one into doing something different than what one's own heart says, as well as often creating actions that are more harmful to those we are trying to protect, than if we allowed ourselves to be ourselves.

There is also an underlying message about not speaking up for what one wants, not speaking up for one's feelings, that is much more overt.  But it is all one in the same.  When we don't speak up for ourselves, we lose a piece of ourselves, as well as our own inner peace.

Being unable to say what we feel and mean is a form of hypnosis.  How we communicate, or fail to communicate, has been ingrained within us by our parents, family, friends, society.  I know it isn't easy to say what is really there, as I haven't always been able to be so expressive.  Sometimes it hurts to say things that go unreciprocated, but I think it might just hurt more when being forced to stifle oneself because of fears or what others may say, do, or think.

I saw a preview for the movie 50/50.  In it, the main character gets diagnosed with cancer.  His friend convinces him that telling a woman that he has cancer is a great pick up line.  When he does it it doesn't go over well, at all.  But he just keeps going.

This is not to say we should just "dump" things on others, and run, but rather, if we are able to just allow ourselves to say what is so for us in the moment we can have the freedom to be ourselves, and just keep going.  

Consider that we are more often trapped by the things we don't say than by the things we do.  If this feels like you, remember I haven't always been like this, so I understand.  If you want to make a change, you can, and if you think I could help, just ask!   It isn't easy, but it is doable. The more you do it, the easier it will become. You will also see how amazingly powerful it feels. As odd as it may sound, good communication can be an aphrodisiac!

All the best to you in this adventure called life,
Isis





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