It was a show that took a woman who was
a "Plain Jane" and made her up, so she
could go meet with a guy that didn't
know that she liked him more than a friend.
She was used to being "one of the boys,"
and she was taken through some activities
to bring out the confident and sexy woman
inside.
What is the most interesting thing to me
about the show and its outcome is that the
guy she had been friends with for 6 years
admitted to her that he had had a crush
on her, but he never said anything. That
is, until she came out and told him how
she felt.
While he thought she looked beautiful, he
still liked her before her transformation.
He liked her without the dress, the
make up, and all of the things that came
out of her adventure to get to the point
of telling him how she felt.
For 6 YEARS the two of them liked the
other, but was too afraid to say how
they really felt to the other.
Interesting how it took her doing what
she did to be able to take the risk of
expressing herself, and to face possible
rejection.
It made me wonder how many things in
life go by because we don't fully
communicate how we feel. How many
times we settle for something less
than what we might have because it
in some way seems safer.
Often I am told how wonderfully expressive
I am, and how well I communicate. The
fact is I wasn't born this way. As a
matter of fact, I used to be very
ineffective at communicating what I felt.
When I think about how I used to be, it
is even a little difficult to remember
in a way that I can wrap myself around
because it is so removed from who I have
become.
If I think about it, it was like learning
a language. When I didn't know the
language - how to communicate effectively -
I was often frustrated and stymied, and
got no where fast. When I learned the
language - and was able to communicate
in a way that I felt I could express
myself and be heard - there was much
more freedom to handle any situations
and my response to them.
I learned that just because I expressed
myself, it didn't mean a single thing
had to change in my external world.
Communication was no longer a means
to manipulate a person or situation,
but rather an expression of myself.
And as such sometimes it worked within
a person's framework and sometimes it
didn't, and it didn't matter which
way it went. I didn't always get
what I wanted, but upon learning how
to more effectively communicate I was
was/am freer than I ever was to be
myself and a lot less frustrated as
a a result.
Just so you know, I still have my
moments, but it is amazing how much
easier things are when you can just
speak your mind. Even as I write
this, there are a few situations in
my life that need me to express myself,
and I have yet to do it.
So realize that it is a process,
and being that it is a human one,
it is likely to have less than
seemingly perfect outcomes at least
some percentage of the time.
So be kind to yourself...and do
what you can. There are no
touchdowns without throws, and
many more throws land short of
the goal than are touchdown
caliber. But every throw counts
in one way or another - even if
it shows one what not to do.
What fun would a game be if every
throw resulted in a touchdown?
Maybe that is why life is as it is.
Maybe it is the challenges that we
face that make it more interesting,
and ultimately more rewarding.
I haven't been perfect in my
communications along the way,
but my fumbles have helped to
bring me where I am today, and
help me to be the communicator
so many seem to appreciate.
As nice as the End Zone is, it
is only a temporary place to be.
Each day is an opportunity for
a new play and a new possibility
to discover what comes from
expressing yourself in the best
way you know how.
Every play has to start somewhere.
And the only place to start is
where you are - now. I can attest
to the fact that when you don't
know what you don't know I might
as well be telling you what I am
telling you in gibberish.
I can't tell you how many times
someone would tell me something
that made some sense, but when
it came to practical application
in my life, it made no sense at
all.
That is...until it did.
Nothing about life is set in stone,
despite what we may think, or wish
for, so while you may not understand
something today in a way that is
helpful to you, there is a possibility
that a day will come and you will
wonder how you didn't get it before.
Aren't we lucky life keeps us so
entertained, and there is no
admission charge! LOL.
As always, if you would like some
perspective, or assistance you
know where to find me.
Have an awesome day!
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