I often speak with men whose relationships
(married, or not) seem to have a minimal
amount of sex. I sometimes think they
they they are unique. Not to burst that
bubble, but it is much more common than
anyone may realize, and it goes both ways
despite what some may think.
I just read an article about a marriage
of 16 years in which the two partners never
had sex, and it was the woman who was the
one who wanted it, but the husband who found
reasons not to, and ways to blame her for
his lack of willingness/desire.
It is amazing how we can sometimes
creatively turn things around. I
would imagine there may be a few men
whose partners are good at saying
things in a similar way that might
have a negative effect on one's own
self esteem.
I used to be in a relationship where the
guy I was with was really good at that.
Because I wasn't how I am now, I would
constantly question myself, wondering if
somehow he might have a point.
Not to say he didn't at times, perhaps,
but I am certain that there were issues
that he had that he deflected on to me.
The more you know yourself, the less likely
someone can manipulate you. The more you
know yourself the more opportunity you have
to communicate effectively and ultimately
decide if the situation you find yourself
in is one you want to remain in.
You can likely convince yourself of anything.
Are the things you've convinced yourself
about really worth it? (HINT: the answer
might be a dubious yes, especially if you
are unsettled or are unhappy about it for
an extended length of time) If not, it may be
time to take a good, hard look at things.
If you enjoyed this entry, please click below:
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sexless Marriage?
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Thank you for writing/posting this. I had no idea that this was such a common thing. Though I am not married, I am in long-term relationship without sex. My partner never blames me for it, although she does have an impressive array of excuses.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcomed andrew_seeking. I know many think their circumstances are unique, and it is easy to think that when it is difficult to speak about these things honestly and openly with others.
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely more common than most would think.