On Bald(ing) Men and Other Superficial Things

There is someone that I was
speaking to recently who was
insecure because he was
balding.

While I realize for many men
(and women!) this can be a
significant issue, I thought
I would share with you a
few of my thoughts on the
matter.

If people are going to love
you, they are going to love
you for who you are and not
how you are packaged, or for
the later packaging changes
(gaining weight, wrinkles,
grey hair, no hair, hair in
various unusual places...)
and those are just the
physical things. You should
likely include what you
choose to do for a living,
the car you choose to buy,
the clothes you wear, the
money you have in the bank.

EVERYthing is mutable. The
mistake we make is to think
otherwise.

Some will find that if they
give a woman what she wants
they "feel loved and needed,"
but are they really loved
and needed? That all depends,
of course, on your perspective.

If you give a woman your "all,"
it is going to feel a lot
better to the core of you if
you believe those things, and
belief comes without the other
person's reality entering the
equation.

It might be difficult - if not
impossible and possibly undesirable
- to stand back and look at a
situation and discover what
the other person's reality is.

You get something from your
belief, and stepping back
will potentially threaten
what you are getting from
your (sometimes intentional)
ignorance.

You might consider being kind
to yourself if you discover that
things weren't as you thought
they were. After all, you were
doing what we are made to do -
get what we feel we need - even
if it doesn't truly work for us.

In a situation like this, you
are obviously a person who has
much to share and give, and
I would be willing to bet that
there is someone out there that
would be appreciative and worthy
of your efforts.

The thing is, though, you have
to recognize what you're doing,
and change it, and let it go,
so that something more positive
can show up. Of course, you
also need to believe you are
deserving of someone who will
appreciate you.

Easy? Probably not. But when
have I ever said being human is?
(Yeah. I know. It sucks, doesn't it?)

At the same time, becoming
aware of who you are in the
world and the value you offer
will help when the few pounds
creep on or the last few
remaining hairs fall.

People have said you have to
love yourself for others to
love you. Sometimes that is
a hard thing to grasp.

At the same time, it makes
sense because when you love
yourself you will use
different words, the quality
of your speech will vary, you
will carry yourself differently,
you will dress differently, so
much will vary from the person
who feels unloved. As a result,
the person you present to the
world - as bald as he may be -
will be someone that another
could fall in love with.

I realize opinions on this
will vary - as they do, on
everything. However, you
are no less a person because
another doesn't appreciate
who and how you are. You
are only less of a person
when you allow another's
detrimental judgment of who
they think you are based on
a characteristic you have
become your own. And that
has nothing to do with
anyone else, but YOU.

That, though, is the GOOD
NEWS. Something that starts
and ends with you is something
you have control over.

It is also the bad news for
those who have become victims
to their circumstances because
those types of situations tend
to feed off of themselves, and
when you start to starve them,
they tend to react in a way
that is desperate to hold onto
what is "known."

However, what is good is the
fact that with time and
determination, your old diet
will become a thing of the past,
and you will become so removed
from who you once were, that
person will be unrecognizable.

For some, it may be hard to
believe that it is possible.
But take my word for it -
IT IS.

Want some help jump starting
the changes? Let me know the
next time we speak.

I have to tell you one last
thing. I dated a guy who,
at the time, was in his
younger 20s who CHOSE to be
bald. I have to tell you,
I found it pretty darn sexy.
Of course it helped that I
liked him, too.

One other "last thing,"
sexy is an attitude that
comes in many shapes and
sizes. The next time you
go to judge yourself when
you look in the mirror,
you might consider these
words.

(It also occurs to me to
mention my recording I am
a Sensual God...if you want
something that encourages
attractive energy, the
MP3 would be a great choice).

Have a good night.