One drop too many

Have you ever wondered why something
seemingly small and insignificant
seems like a big deal?

Consider a bucket that collects drops
of water. The first few probably
don't seem like much. But once you
have added many more, there is going
to come a point that one more drop
will have the bucket overflow.

But it's ONLY a drop, right?

And then there is another drop, so
there is more overflow, and even
more drops will soon make a mess.

But they're ONLY drops, aren't they?

If a person focuses on the drops,
they'll never see the big mess
that is the overflow.

Many times when people interact,
they only see the drops, and many
times it is difficult, if not
impossible, for someone to see
another's overflow because
individual buckets have unique
contents which when added up
create a unique combination of
things that can cause a lot of
stress and a big mess.

Ever have someone ask, "What's
the big deal?" and it pissed you
off? Maybe you even wondered, too.
But if you went back and looked at
what had been happening up until
that point, you may recognize
what was adding up, and how those
little drops became a "big" thing.

I'd like to think that people
want the best for those they care
about, but often their observations
and suggestions aren't helpful
(or are minimally beneficial)
because they are unable to take
into consideration the entire
mix that is causing the reaction
of anger, of stress, of whatever
might be going on at the moment.

The unique chemistry that is you
is what will give you the
experience you have, and there
are only so many things that can
be added together before the
cracks will begin to show.

The best thing you can do for
yourself is recognize what is
happening. After you recognize
it, you can share with others
your recognition. It might help,
but, sadly, most still will not
get it because they will still
be focused on the drop and
unable to understand what is
going on for you. It is still
worth a shot, though, because
you never know when it might
be helpful, and ease some of
the pressure of their need to
be helpful in a way that isn't
so helpful.

You could also let the person
know that if they want to help,
the best thing they can do is
listen, and resist the urge to
try to help resolve your problem.

Another thing you could do is
just stay away from others for
a bit. It isn't always the
best solution, but sometimes
it can be helpful, as their
input only adds to the overflow.

Last, but not least, is probably
the most obvious and likely most
overlooked piece which is to
empty that bucket.

When you let the stress go, you
are better able to cope with the
things that truly are "just a
drop."

Don't know how to let them go?
There are lots of ways, but the
biggest trick will be to allow
yourself to utilize one or more
of them.

Often it feels "comfortable" to
hold on to the stress, as odd
as that may sound.

Of course, hypnosis can help,
but so can breathing properly
(many times we don't breathe
properly when stressed),
breaking up the pattern that
is occurring, doing something
fun, speaking with someone
who will just listen.

Sometimes we just need to
express ourselves to be able
to diffuse the pressures
that have been built up
within.

One last thing to consider
is what it feels like to
be on the other side. It
is easy to see how this
might suit our own
overwhelming experiences,
but it also suits the
ones those we care about
are having, too.

The next time someone is
feeling overwhelmed, and
is talking to you, consider
that the best thing you
can do is to listen, and
refrain from the attitude
of "what's the big deal?"