Sometimes life doesn't smell like roses, or taste like cherries...

and sometimes it can be pretty darn bittersweet.

Often people talk a good game when desired
relationships don't materialize: "she wasn't
the right one for you," "next time will be
better," "he didn't appreciate you," on and
on and on. Sometimes we'll even tell ourselves
those refrains to make ourselves feel better.

We lead with our emotions, and then follow up
with the logic that makes us feel good about
what just happened.

I had an experience with someone recently
that was beautiful, sweet, and sad all
rolled into one. I got to see tremendous
beauty in what was given me - albeit for a
relatively short time. And because it was
so beautiful, the loss of it was painful.

The person involved didn't want to hurt me,
but it was in some way inevitable, I suppose,
given the circumstances, but it was something
I willingly, cautiously, and optimistically
walked into.

For a long time the person didn't want
to talk to me, afraid to hurt me more.
What they didn't realize was that -
for me - the silence was much more painful.
There is a sense of relief and freedom
that I now have that I didn't before
our conversation.

If you think you are doing a person a
favor by being silent, you may want
to think again. Not everyone will be
like me, but the opportunity to talk
provides something the silence does not.

I can't "blame" the person, or even get mad.
I care too much about the person to do that,
and that is what is so beautiful for me
about this situation. I am able to see the
beauty in the midst of the pain.

Would I rather be pain free? Absolutely!
But life is rarely without its bumps and
issues. It seems we too often want smooth
sailing and things to magically happen,
forgetting that things often have a mind
of their own - which doesn't correspond
with our timetable or desires.

Life is about choice, and we have countless
opportunities to make choices, even when
we don't acknowledge them. For many, a
natural reaction to my situation would
have been much more devastating. For me,
I choose to focus on the good, instead of
the sad, even though a part of me is indeed
sad. At the same time, I feel amazingly
empowered, and feel freer in regard to
this situation than I have in a long time.

If you are able to give a person their
space to be themselves, it is an incredible
gift that you give, and a most unselfish
one, if it happens to disagree with what
you want. It won't be easy, especially
if you care, but forcing the issue can be
detrimental to what you want any way.

I share this not so much to say, "look
at how great I am," but rather as a
testament to how life at times can
truly suck, but how much it sucks in
our experience truly is a choice we make.

It is a choice made much easier when it
has a foundation AND when there is a
clear intent and purpose. If you truly
love someone, and it's not about what
you get, choices, even if unpleasant, are
made easier.

My situation is made better by the
acknowledgment that we sometimes are
only handed the sampler, and that is
all we get.

My gratitude flows, and...

It still sucks. Wanting more that you
can have always does. But that is
part of the beauty - at least you had
something as great as your desire for more,
and THAT is where my focus will be -
most of the time, and when it's not,
*sigh* oh well.

I hope you never have to experience
what I did. At the same time, it is one
of the most beautiful experiences I have
had in my life.