Are you feeling resigned?

Per Google's online dictionary, resigned
has (among others) the following definitions:

Give up (an office, power, privilege, etc.)
Accept that something undesirable cannot be avoided
Surrender oneself to another's guidance

As I look at those definitions, I see a potential
mixed bag of meaning. When one "gives up" it could
be because something else is more important. It
could also mean that the person who gives up feels
it futile to continue what s/he was doing.

There are some situations in life that are
undesirable, and yet there are very few of them
that "cannot be avoided." Many times we may feel
so trapped by our choices, that we thinking they
are unavoidable, and yet what they really are are
things that we have the ability to change -
if we are willing.

To "surrender ones' self" to another could be a
smart thing to do, or it could be a way of giving
away your personal power. Someone might know
better than you, but it's not because they say so.

It would be because you could recognize and
identify something within that matches how the
person approaches a situation. You may not totally
know or understand where the person comes from,
but there is an inner part of you that knows if
you might be taking the "easy" way out (which often
can become the more difficult way), or doing s
something that might "seem" to be a good thing
vs something that truly is.

An argument can be made that one person's
resignation is another's empowerment. On a
superficial level that is likely easier to
do than one that goes to the core and heart
of the matter. You know when you are doing
the right thing. There is an inner peace
that comes along with your choices. It
doesn't mean that everything around you will
be calm and peaceful, but there will be an
inner knowledge that what is being done is
being done for the best. You do know when
that happens. I am sure you've had moments
like that.

At the very least, you have had moments in
which you listened to another, and knew that
you hadn't done the right thing for yourself.

In the end, it is YOU who gets to decide
what is right for you, and what your
motivation is for your decisions. Interestingly,
we will make decisions with our emotions and
then back them up with our logic, so you could
probably make almost anything work for you -
for a time, at least.

One of the best keys for the best chance at
happiness and true satisfaction is to be as
aware as you can be of what you are doing
and why you are doing it. Another one would
be to recognize whether or not something is
truly working for you. At least then you
will be able to tell if you are doing something
because you want to do it, or because someone
else wants you to - or thinks you should -
do it. It likely will also help you to see
if you justifying actions only appear to
serve your interests.

It isn't always easy to look, but when you're
not happy, or feeling unsettled, and it is
more than on an occasional basis, odds are
something is going on that is telling you
to look closer. Perhaps it is time for a
change. You know when you are making a "fix"
and when you are actually doing something
that will work, and so does that part of
you that nags at you. Circumstances don't
always need to change for you to feel good
about things, sometimes a true change in
perspective will be effective.

What won't work? Settling and/or avoidance,
as sooner or later it will likely come back
to bite you in the butt

Someone once told me something about how
compromise is important to a relationship.
My response was that if a person in the
relationship feels compromised as a result,
I wouldn't necessarily agree. If, however,
both parties can agree that it is best to
make a compromise, and really feel good
about it, then yes.

A compromise between two people that leaves
either one of them feeling compromised is li
kely to eat away at the partner affected,
and ultimately the fabric of the relationship.

Fight to keep the relationship on those terms,
and you will likely only have a skeleton after
a while. The relationship will have no "meat"
left. You might be OK with that, but if you're
not, and you're feeling resigned, sounds like
you may have some work to do.

As always, I might be able to help. If you'd
like my help, just ask. Hypnosis can be great
for things like this.