Some Perspective | Humor

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word
meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet."
- Robin Williams

"I believe that sex is one of the most
beautiful, natural, wholesome things
that money can buy."
- Tom Clancy

"You know 'that look' women get when
they want sex? Me neither."
- Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd
better have a good hand."
- Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your
chances for a date on Saturday night."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake whole relationships."
- Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during
sex - no matter what she's reading."
- Steve Jobs

"My mother never saw the irony in
calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
- Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where
he parks or where he lives, but he never
forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush

"Women complain about premenstrual
syndrome, but I think of it as the only
time of the month that I can be myself."
- Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
- Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they
feel more comfortable undressing in front
of men than they do undressing in front of
other women. They say that women are too
judgmental, where, of course, men are just
grateful."
- Robert De Niro

"Instead of getting married again, I'm
going to find a woman I don't like and just
give her a house."
- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a
brain and a penis, and only enough blood to
run one at a time."
- Robin Williams

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool
with a rope."
- George Burns