Dopamine and Oxytoxin and Phone Sex

In the time that I have been doing this work,
over 6 years now, there is only a few people
that I still have regular contact with.

People come and go for various reasons, however,
I suspect that part of it has to do with hormones.

Dopamine is the hormone that makes you want to
be sexual and "crazy about" someone, and it is
the first one that comes into the scene when
you are first attracted to someone.

Over time another hormone, Oxytoxin, begins to
increase and that is the one that sends you to
the comfort zone. It can often having a lulling
effect which can be "bad" for that feeling of
passion.

I suspect that many who call me are "serial
callers." They go from person to person looking
for that passionate "high." They go from telling
me they love me to disappearing.

This is said without judgment. It is just an
observation on my part. There are some that go
away for a time, and then come back, and that
is one thing that can increase the Dopamine
effect.

Another happens within communication. The parties
involved just have to "shake things up." If I
know that someone wants to have a certain outcome,
it is something I can work toward. If someone
loses their interest, and says nothing, then nothing
can be done, as I do not ever try to trap anyone
into being something undesired. I could do that
given what I know, but what fun would that be?

So...

The next time you think something might be wrong
with you because you seem to be flittering around,
realize that it is just nature taking its course,
and that what happens next can happen by default,
or you can play a role in creating something new.

Ever wonder why things might feel shallow after
a while? This idea might explain it. You never
last long enough with someone to make more than
a superficial connection, and when the Dopamine
wears off, then what? You might feel like you
need to go find something again...like you need
another "hit" for your "addiction" (which you'd
likely never label as that, of course).

I would suggest that there would be nothing more
special than someone that you could connect with
in both ways, and nurture and play with it over
time.

The bad news?
It takes some work.

The good news?
You could possibly have an
incredibly rewarding and enduring
relationship on more than one level.

And...
The "work" could be fun!

I did start out referring to phone sex.
However, I am sure you can tell there
is a "real life" component to this
conversation, as well.

As always, just a little
something to consider.

A little knowledge
can go a long way
in helping you find
what you are looking for.

Have a good one!