The New Male Sex Need?

In Cosmo's May 2010 issue, there was an article
about how to "build" up a man, make him feel
like a "man of steel," like a "superhero." It
talks about stroking his ego, and making him
feel invincible.

I thought it was an interesting article because
I know so many men who want to be anything but
that in the bedroom - at least at times.

The one thing the article suggests is "getting
in his head," and I would absolutely agree with
that. However, it implies that getting in his
head will be empowering him to take charge.

As with anything, I think blanket statements do
a disservice. The thing about getting into
someone's head is that you may find things that
don't necessarily agree with what you believe,
or how you see things.

It means taking a risk. It means that you care
about someone enough to allow them to be who
they want to and need to be, not who you want
or demand them to be.

What is right for any relationship is the same
thing that is right for any individual. In
my opinion, of course. What is right is what
works, and if there is something in between
the sheets that isn't working, a good partnership
owes discovery and good communication between
its partners.

Odds are men are reading this...and it really
should be addressed to the women in their lives.
However, if you are a man who is in a situation
that doesn't seem to allow you a part of yourself,
you might want to consider that more is possible.

At one point I received an email from an angry
wife. Apparently she found out about her husband's
interest and about money spent, and had pretty
much kicked him out. I mention this because in
her correspondence with me she mentioned that had
he wanted to investigate hypnosis with her, she
would have been game.

Whether or not he wanted to entertain it with her,
might have been a different story, however if his
relationship was important to him (and I will
presume that it was) he was taking an awfully big
risk by doing what he did. It may have cost him
a lot more than money in the end.

Another person I spoke with, but never hypnotized,
was seeking to explore in the full awareness of
his wife. However, as they went forward, it wasn't
working for her. He ultimately made the choice to
forgo the hypnotic experience, and it sounded like
it was to their mutual benefit.

Every person and every experience is going to be
different. I don't believe any one person has the
answers for any other one person. However there
may be elements that can work for some.

You owe it to yourself to be as honest as you can
be with your significant other, and yourself. The
rewards may be surprisingly great. I realize for
some it may not be wise or practical, but you may
just be surprised. Just be careful that your desire
doesn't drive you to do something that could hurt
a relationship that you care about...and even if it
comes to a point where it just seems to hurt you,
you could still be hurting the relationship, as you
are 50% of that dynamic. Things don't happen in a
void.

Be wary any time someone seems to have THE answer.
You may find yourself going down a path that doesn't
work in your world. When that happens all kinds of
things can happen, including wondering what is wrong
with you. After all, it worked for others, what is
wrong with you that it isn't working?

The fact is there are as many solutions as there
are people, and the more you tune into what is right
for your experience, the happier you will likely be.

Perhaps the new male sex need is the same as the
female one: A need to be heard and respected for
one's choices.