Since we are on the verge of a
New Year, and many may be considering
making New Year's Resolutions I
thought the following information
may be of interest/of assistance.
There is a program by Nightingale-
Conant called The Science of Self
Discipline by Kerry L. Johnson.
It, like many of the company's
offerings is helpful in what it
has to offer. If you think it
might be of interest to you,
Nightingale's offers are risk
free, so if you aren't happy,
or feel there hasn't been a
benefit you can return their
products.
The particular piece that I
wanted to point out was on
PROCRASTINATION.
According to Kerry,
Procrastination is
a focus on the pain
of a situation.
It may include some
self doubt or a feeling
that there is not
enough information.
What Kerry suggests is
that you shift your
focus to the PLEASURE
of the DESIRED OUTCOME.
How would it feel to
complete what you are
delaying?
Once you know how it
will feel, he suggests
that you turn up the
feelings of pleasure
by enhancing how you
see that completion
through your senses.
He also suggests that
one could just do
something about the
issue immediately -
just enough to "feel
good about it."
Recognizing what you
are battling is important,
because when you recognize
the core issue you are able
to address it.
As long as you are focused
on the thing you aren't doing
and not what is attached to
it, you may not get very far.
Once you figure out what the
issue has to do with - such
as a need for more info -
you can proceed to figure
things out and move forward.
If it has to do with self
doubt, then you address that
(I am sure hypnosis could
help with that part, should
you be so inclined to use
the option).
I wish you a wonderful day
and night if you are still
in 2010, and a marvelous 2011
when you get there. (Should
anyone reading this be there
already, maybe you can tell
me how the New Year's looking!)
All the best to you,
Isis
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
With Passion & Substance | Video | Music
As I have said before, when people
touch our hearts they never seem
to leave.
This is one beautiful and passionate
song that speaks to the connection
and the loss of something and someone
special.
I bet there are many who can and do
relate. I know I can.
touch our hearts they never seem
to leave.
This is one beautiful and passionate
song that speaks to the connection
and the loss of something and someone
special.
I bet there are many who can and do
relate. I know I can.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
On Being Yourself | Quote
“To be nobody but yourself in
a world which is doing its best,
night and day,
to make you everybody else,
means to fight the
hardest battle which any
human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.”
- e e Cummings
It seems you're fine as who you
are, until you disagree with
someone who wants something
from you.
To be yourself can truly be
a challenge. And, as with most
challenges, it can be quite
rewarding to meet it.
Nobody does you better!
a world which is doing its best,
night and day,
to make you everybody else,
means to fight the
hardest battle which any
human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.”
- e e Cummings
It seems you're fine as who you
are, until you disagree with
someone who wants something
from you.
To be yourself can truly be
a challenge. And, as with most
challenges, it can be quite
rewarding to meet it.
Nobody does you better!
Failure, Success & THE END | On Relationships
In a comment from a previous blog entry,
me-chan made the comment, "While I'm not
one who'd want to see a relationship fail,"
and it made me think about how we view
the end of relationships. It also made
me go look up the word "failure."
Dictionary.com has several definitions
for the word failure, and among them are:
"an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure."
and
"nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear."
I find it interesting to consider that
the end of a relationship is almost
always considered a "failure" of some
sort, and perhaps it is. Perhaps it
is a failure to communicate, a failure
to respect, a failure to...
However it seems to me that it isn't
so much a failure of a person as much
as it might be a failure of a function
that supports the unison. It is also
interesting to note that the word
"expected" is used.
Who determines what is "expected?"
It seems to me that "Society" is what
determines the expectation of a
relationship, but pretty much in a
void. The expectations don't often
seem to meet with the realities of
what happens.
Even if the functions experience
failure, it doesn't mean that either
one of the couple is a failure themselves,
and yet that label can - and often is -
applied to anyone who appears unable to
live up to a perceived expectation.
Part of the definition also says,
"a lack of success," success defined
by Dictionary.com as "the favorable or
prosperous termination of attempts or
endeavors." Interesting to note in
that definition the word "favorable."
It is yet another word that has some
meaning that might be interpreted
differently by different people.
Society would say it was "favorable"
to maintain a marriage. However
within that broad stroke is zero
consideration for the abuses and
unhappiness that one might have
within that relationship.
There is a very strong undercurrent
within relationships that say they
should evolve a certain way, and
be a certain way, and like under-
currents, there is a push without
any conscious thought of the
consequences.
Somewhere along the line people
decided that marriage should be
forever. SOME people decided that,
and others for various reasons,
followed suit. It probably seemed
"safer" that way. People would be
less lonely and feel more supported
if they knew they could count on
someone instead of being alone.
The problem in my mind is that
while one might want to think that
that is the case, it probably has
always had its issues. Just because
someone SAYS something doesn't mean
that it is an absolute, and yet we
say things all of the time that
sound like absolutes, and when we
have a change of heart or a change
of mind, there is the perception that
something is wrong with us.
You Promised.
If you have gotten this far in life
you undoubtedly have had at least
one promise broken, and quite likely
more. You have quite likely broken
at least one promise, and quite likely
more. If you haven't, it may have
taken you great pains to keep your
promises, and it may have cost you
in other ways (but that may be another
blog entry).
Those above statements being the case,
making people feel bad about themselves
has never curtailed actions that are
less than what we would like.
People are fallible. People will lie.
People will say what others want to
hear. People will say what they want
to believe is true. People will say
one thing - they think they mean at
the moment - and then have a change
of mind later.
Nothing is perfect, and sometimes we
can dance in the imperfection and
sometimes we can drown in it. The
difference is in how we are in the
moments in our life when we aren't
happy. How do we act? How do we
react?
When we don't know what is important
to ourselves, and we don't have a
focus it is easy to be caught up in
a tide of what is "supposed" to be.
Some might say that that is a selfish
way to be. However, when you know
you want to be with someone, you will
find a way to make things work in
conjunction with who you are at the
core. If you are unable to do that,
then to keep going could be to
compromise the core of who you are.
Is that compromise worth it? I
certainly question that it is. But
I am not you. Only you can decide
if chipping away at who you are to
benefit someone else's "should," is
going to be of value to you in some
way.
As with anything, it is VERY difficult
to cover all of the bases in a
conversation like this. There are
many variables. However, one thing
I do know is that the variables can
become reasons to justify staying in
a situation that has run its course,
and should have ended by now.
If you end when you are supposed to
end, it seems to me to be more of
an end than a failure. To me a
failure is when you keep going to
the point in which there is a break,
and that break comes out of necessity
instead of choice. In cases like that
it is usually much messier than if
the end comes by choice.
If you push something beyond where
it is supposed to go, you run the
risk of it costing you more than
you wanted to pay.
A forced relationship doesn't heal
the relationship, it actually winds
up tearing it to pieces in ways
that are often go unrecognized. The
tears are like the seemingly small
leaks in the dam. And most of the
time those little leaks are ignored,
or not repaired properly while
attention is focused elsewhere and
when that happens, you know what
the outcome will be, don't you?
I am all for relationships that
challenge those in them to
learn, to grow, to be the best
they can be. It doesn't mean
that everything will be perfect,
and as a matter of fact things
often will be LESS than perfect,
but that is the way that we can
and do learn and grow.
As long as a relationship is
supporting the people in it,
I am all for it. The minute
that it starts to deteriorate,
and begins to whittle away the
people in it, is the minute
that some sort of change would
be beneficial - whether it is
to try to work things out, or
to say THE END.
Relationships that hang on
needlessly weaken those who
are in them. Those who are
able to stand up and say
THE END find strength where
they never knew there was
strength before.
I know it's difficult to know
when THE END has come. I have
had my own experience with that,
and it wasn't easy and I had
a few THE ENDs before the final
one. What I do know, though,
is that I tried the best I
could with what I knew and who
I knew myself to be. I gave
it all I knew I could, and
when the final THE END came,
it was an incredible relief.
I have also learned more about
myself when I reflect on what
happened. I don't know that
things could have had a different
outcome, but I do know that I
could have been different, and
with that knowledge I move
forward knowing that to succeed
sometimes one must seem to fail.
I am a better person for that
experience and for what I have
learned from it, and to that
person I will always be thankful
for the time we had together.
My experience with him taught
me a lot about myself and I
became clearer about who I am
and what I want and who I
want to be in life and in
relationships.
For that reason,
I see nothing
but success.
me-chan made the comment, "While I'm not
one who'd want to see a relationship fail,"
and it made me think about how we view
the end of relationships. It also made
me go look up the word "failure."
Dictionary.com has several definitions
for the word failure, and among them are:
"an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure."
and
"nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear."
I find it interesting to consider that
the end of a relationship is almost
always considered a "failure" of some
sort, and perhaps it is. Perhaps it
is a failure to communicate, a failure
to respect, a failure to...
However it seems to me that it isn't
so much a failure of a person as much
as it might be a failure of a function
that supports the unison. It is also
interesting to note that the word
"expected" is used.
Who determines what is "expected?"
It seems to me that "Society" is what
determines the expectation of a
relationship, but pretty much in a
void. The expectations don't often
seem to meet with the realities of
what happens.
Even if the functions experience
failure, it doesn't mean that either
one of the couple is a failure themselves,
and yet that label can - and often is -
applied to anyone who appears unable to
live up to a perceived expectation.
Part of the definition also says,
"a lack of success," success defined
by Dictionary.com as "the favorable or
prosperous termination of attempts or
endeavors." Interesting to note in
that definition the word "favorable."
It is yet another word that has some
meaning that might be interpreted
differently by different people.
Society would say it was "favorable"
to maintain a marriage. However
within that broad stroke is zero
consideration for the abuses and
unhappiness that one might have
within that relationship.
There is a very strong undercurrent
within relationships that say they
should evolve a certain way, and
be a certain way, and like under-
currents, there is a push without
any conscious thought of the
consequences.
Somewhere along the line people
decided that marriage should be
forever. SOME people decided that,
and others for various reasons,
followed suit. It probably seemed
"safer" that way. People would be
less lonely and feel more supported
if they knew they could count on
someone instead of being alone.
The problem in my mind is that
while one might want to think that
that is the case, it probably has
always had its issues. Just because
someone SAYS something doesn't mean
that it is an absolute, and yet we
say things all of the time that
sound like absolutes, and when we
have a change of heart or a change
of mind, there is the perception that
something is wrong with us.
You Promised.
If you have gotten this far in life
you undoubtedly have had at least
one promise broken, and quite likely
more. You have quite likely broken
at least one promise, and quite likely
more. If you haven't, it may have
taken you great pains to keep your
promises, and it may have cost you
in other ways (but that may be another
blog entry).
Those above statements being the case,
making people feel bad about themselves
has never curtailed actions that are
less than what we would like.
People are fallible. People will lie.
People will say what others want to
hear. People will say what they want
to believe is true. People will say
one thing - they think they mean at
the moment - and then have a change
of mind later.
Nothing is perfect, and sometimes we
can dance in the imperfection and
sometimes we can drown in it. The
difference is in how we are in the
moments in our life when we aren't
happy. How do we act? How do we
react?
When we don't know what is important
to ourselves, and we don't have a
focus it is easy to be caught up in
a tide of what is "supposed" to be.
Some might say that that is a selfish
way to be. However, when you know
you want to be with someone, you will
find a way to make things work in
conjunction with who you are at the
core. If you are unable to do that,
then to keep going could be to
compromise the core of who you are.
Is that compromise worth it? I
certainly question that it is. But
I am not you. Only you can decide
if chipping away at who you are to
benefit someone else's "should," is
going to be of value to you in some
way.
As with anything, it is VERY difficult
to cover all of the bases in a
conversation like this. There are
many variables. However, one thing
I do know is that the variables can
become reasons to justify staying in
a situation that has run its course,
and should have ended by now.
If you end when you are supposed to
end, it seems to me to be more of
an end than a failure. To me a
failure is when you keep going to
the point in which there is a break,
and that break comes out of necessity
instead of choice. In cases like that
it is usually much messier than if
the end comes by choice.
If you push something beyond where
it is supposed to go, you run the
risk of it costing you more than
you wanted to pay.
A forced relationship doesn't heal
the relationship, it actually winds
up tearing it to pieces in ways
that are often go unrecognized. The
tears are like the seemingly small
leaks in the dam. And most of the
time those little leaks are ignored,
or not repaired properly while
attention is focused elsewhere and
when that happens, you know what
the outcome will be, don't you?
I am all for relationships that
challenge those in them to
learn, to grow, to be the best
they can be. It doesn't mean
that everything will be perfect,
and as a matter of fact things
often will be LESS than perfect,
but that is the way that we can
and do learn and grow.
As long as a relationship is
supporting the people in it,
I am all for it. The minute
that it starts to deteriorate,
and begins to whittle away the
people in it, is the minute
that some sort of change would
be beneficial - whether it is
to try to work things out, or
to say THE END.
Relationships that hang on
needlessly weaken those who
are in them. Those who are
able to stand up and say
THE END find strength where
they never knew there was
strength before.
I know it's difficult to know
when THE END has come. I have
had my own experience with that,
and it wasn't easy and I had
a few THE ENDs before the final
one. What I do know, though,
is that I tried the best I
could with what I knew and who
I knew myself to be. I gave
it all I knew I could, and
when the final THE END came,
it was an incredible relief.
I have also learned more about
myself when I reflect on what
happened. I don't know that
things could have had a different
outcome, but I do know that I
could have been different, and
with that knowledge I move
forward knowing that to succeed
sometimes one must seem to fail.
I am a better person for that
experience and for what I have
learned from it, and to that
person I will always be thankful
for the time we had together.
My experience with him taught
me a lot about myself and I
became clearer about who I am
and what I want and who I
want to be in life and in
relationships.
For that reason,
I see nothing
but success.
Do You Tweet? | About Pisces
I have tried to get into
tweeting...but it hasn't
been that easy.
But that doesn't stop me
from spending time on
Twitter. So many
interesting things there.
Today I stumbled into an
account that is all about
Pisces. Not sure why the
person feels the need to
tweet about what Pisces
is about, but it is
interesting, none-the-less.
I know some people don't
take much stock in the
astrological signs, and
in some way I do understand
why. What I also understand,
though, is that there is much
more to astrology than the
superficial "Sun Sign"
interpretations and predictions.
For me, it is always interesting
to see where characteristics do
align with the people I know.
I even met a guy once who was
born the same day and month
as someone that I had been in
a relationship with. I tried
to be open-minded enough that
he could be different than the
person I knew.
Pretty quickly I saw that he
wasn't much different, and I
couldn't get away fast enough!
LOL. Sad. But true.
Any way, any Pisces I have
ever known has been an incredibly
deep thinker who has also been
a lot of fun to be around. I
don't think I have ever met a
Pisces I didn't like or couldn't
relate and talk to.
I am sure there are good things
about people of other signs, as
we all have similar characteristics,
they just play out differently,
because we're all different -
even in our similarities.
If you are interested in Pisces,
and are on Twitter, check this
account out. You might learn
a thing or two about yourself
or someone you care about.
If you know of any other Twitter
accounts that others may find
interesting, feel free to share
with me, or share below in the
comments.
Thanks, and have a great day!
tweeting...but it hasn't
been that easy.
But that doesn't stop me
from spending time on
Twitter. So many
interesting things there.
Today I stumbled into an
account that is all about
Pisces. Not sure why the
person feels the need to
tweet about what Pisces
is about, but it is
interesting, none-the-less.
I know some people don't
take much stock in the
astrological signs, and
in some way I do understand
why. What I also understand,
though, is that there is much
more to astrology than the
superficial "Sun Sign"
interpretations and predictions.
For me, it is always interesting
to see where characteristics do
align with the people I know.
I even met a guy once who was
born the same day and month
as someone that I had been in
a relationship with. I tried
to be open-minded enough that
he could be different than the
person I knew.
Pretty quickly I saw that he
wasn't much different, and I
couldn't get away fast enough!
LOL. Sad. But true.
Any way, any Pisces I have
ever known has been an incredibly
deep thinker who has also been
a lot of fun to be around. I
don't think I have ever met a
Pisces I didn't like or couldn't
relate and talk to.
I am sure there are good things
about people of other signs, as
we all have similar characteristics,
they just play out differently,
because we're all different -
even in our similarities.
If you are interested in Pisces,
and are on Twitter, check this
account out. You might learn
a thing or two about yourself
or someone you care about.
If you know of any other Twitter
accounts that others may find
interesting, feel free to share
with me, or share below in the
comments.
Thanks, and have a great day!
Want a Free File?
Have you
checked out
this blog
entry yet?
It's an opportunity
to make a difference,
and for a free file
every month.
The deadline for
January is around
the corner.
checked out
this blog
entry yet?
It's an opportunity
to make a difference,
and for a free file
every month.
The deadline for
January is around
the corner.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Perspective & Humor
"You aren't a loser.
You are a character
in an epic poem
about losers."
- from Jon Stewart talking
about Bruce Springsteen's
music @ Kennedy Center
Honors.
What if we aren't anything
but characters in other
people's lives? What kind
of character are you?
You are a character
in an epic poem
about losers."
- from Jon Stewart talking
about Bruce Springsteen's
music @ Kennedy Center
Honors.
What if we aren't anything
but characters in other
people's lives? What kind
of character are you?
Monday, December 27, 2010
Science, Men & Women
Apparently science has now discovered
that there is an area of the hypothalamus
that is bigger in men than it is in women,
and has more cells. This may mean something
because it is the area of the brain that
makes us feel turned on.
The hypothalamus sends us signals that
tell us that we feel safe. For women,
that includes sending the message that
it is safe and comfortable to have sex -
which can (in general) take a while.
Combine that with the perceived fact
that testosterone is 10 times more
"effective" in males than it is in women,
no wonder there seems to be a disconnect
once in a while. ;)
According to the article in Cosmo (1/11)
that explains these facts, a massage can
help a woman by helping to release oxytoxin,
a "feel good hormone." Another suggestion
is to get some "romantic exercise" like
dancing, as it increases the testosterone
levels.
As I read this, and share it, I wonder if
guys consider things like this as "work."
Sometimes it seems that guys are ready to
"shoot when (they're) ready," which often
may not take much prep or effort.
Not to say this as in something is "wrong,"
but rather as an observation of what the
dynamic may be between two people with
disparate physical functions and needs and...
a consideration of the potential maze of
other things that seem to come into play
in regard to the sexual dynamic. As with
anything, I think the more we are aware of,
the more able we are to navigate the waters
of territory we think we know, and uncover
things we didn't know.
Still...sometimes it is a wonder we manage
to get in sync at all, don't you think?
that there is an area of the hypothalamus
that is bigger in men than it is in women,
and has more cells. This may mean something
because it is the area of the brain that
makes us feel turned on.
The hypothalamus sends us signals that
tell us that we feel safe. For women,
that includes sending the message that
it is safe and comfortable to have sex -
which can (in general) take a while.
Combine that with the perceived fact
that testosterone is 10 times more
"effective" in males than it is in women,
no wonder there seems to be a disconnect
once in a while. ;)
According to the article in Cosmo (1/11)
that explains these facts, a massage can
help a woman by helping to release oxytoxin,
a "feel good hormone." Another suggestion
is to get some "romantic exercise" like
dancing, as it increases the testosterone
levels.
As I read this, and share it, I wonder if
guys consider things like this as "work."
Sometimes it seems that guys are ready to
"shoot when (they're) ready," which often
may not take much prep or effort.
Not to say this as in something is "wrong,"
but rather as an observation of what the
dynamic may be between two people with
disparate physical functions and needs and...
a consideration of the potential maze of
other things that seem to come into play
in regard to the sexual dynamic. As with
anything, I think the more we are aware of,
the more able we are to navigate the waters
of territory we think we know, and uncover
things we didn't know.
Still...sometimes it is a wonder we manage
to get in sync at all, don't you think?
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