Evolving

I recently posted this elsewhere. Now I thought I would share this here. In some ways, I feel relieved. I wasn't sure for the longest time that I wanted to take the steps I am now taking, but life is making it clear that it is time. The words that eluded me up until now flowed as I wrote the following.

As you read it, you will become clear about where I am these days. I am not clear about exactly what happens next, however if you are interested in staying in touch with me, you can contact me and we will see what we can do to arrange an on going connection. I have thought for a while that there may be some of you that I met this way who might want to be a part of what is next. If you are one of those, just email me and let me know. You can use the gift card address in the graphic in the right column to communicate.

Please know that NF prohibits me from taking current customers to a new platform, so if we were to connect in a way that was financial, that will still be the place to do it. The email is not a way for us to skirt my agreement with them.

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It is incredible to see how life sometimes has a mind of its own and takes us in unanticipated directions. I wasn't sure a year ago what I would be doing at this point, however, I am not entirely surprised by where I have wound up.

For some time now, I have debated about what to do regarding erotic hypnosis. I was never the type to pursue people, and given my gentle approach, many otften found themselves elsewhere. Good for them, if their choices made them truly happy.

When I first started being Isis, it was a role I played. Isis has always had parts of me in her, but "Isis" as a Domme was never truly who I was. I came to it as something fun and sensual, as something enjoyable for both me - and for the person I would hypnotize. I never imagined how twisted things could become. To say I got quite the education the last few years would be an understatement of significant proportion.

It has often been disheartening for me to watch some so caught up in the fetish that they lose sight of themselves. I find that so many people have so much to offer the world, and whatever that is can often be buried, sidelined or forgotten in the erotic hypnotic quest. I have often appreciated the fact that the role that I assumed allowed me to be helpful to those who were open to the help that I could offer. Some declined. Whatever the reaction, it was always respected, as I recognize that people are wherever they are for whatever reason they happen to be there.

Some I have spoken to have stretched my limits. I never went farther than I was comfortable, but now that I have been away from it for a while, my comfort level has rolled back significantly. I no longer want to play the role that many would like of me to the extent that I used to, any way. Even if there is a place some would want to be, I am uncomfortable being the one taking them there.

It may sound like I am judging what some do. The fact is that the only judgment I am making is the one that involves me. I am judging where *I* fit. I never really felt like I fit before, and now I don't feel like I fit at all. Add to that what is going on in my life at the moment and I don't have it in me to play at that level any more and I want to "play" at a dfferent level these days. I see how amazing life can be for those who are ready to go past a level of horniness, and it is an amazingly beautiful thing. It is my belief that the world needs people to be involved and engaged and I have seen way too many lost to the suggestions of others and lost to themselves. I wouldn't blanketedly say it was a "bad" thing, but many have come back to me and have told me that it was/is bad for them.

Given how I feel I do not see how I can continue as before. I could have just left and not said anything, but from what I hear there are those silent ones who care about me and what is going on with me. And despite the fact that I have said others could be in touch with me, many have chosen to remain silent, so there really isn't an easy way to let those who care know what is going on.

I have been gradually building to this point, and I suspect that my Isis Internet Tent will one day fold. The one thing that will stick around will be much of my outside blog because I am proud of what is there. I may go through and prune at some point or I may keep it as "historical record." I don't know which yet. I imagine in time I will know, though. However I will not be coming back to announce it. I have always found it odd when a hypnotist says she's having a "going out of business sale." Why would I encourage you to buy my recordings when I won't be around like that any more (which really is all the more reason for me to fold up things at some point)? I have always wanted you to be in touch with me if you wanted to appreciate my work. I always had an interactive model, and since part of that interaction will cease, the rest doesn't really work any more.

A part of me is sad. There was a lot of time and energy put into the myriad of things I have done. But, in some ways, it feels like a different person did them. And, actually, it was. The me of a year ago and before no longer exists. It is definitely time to move on. To those who have stuck by me, and have continued to be in touch, it will be "business as usual." To anyone else, thank you for the time that we spent. Thank you for allowing me into your mind and heart in such an open and intimate way. Thank you for your respect of me and my craft.

While I may be closing the door on Isis as she once was, I am not closing the door on the people who want to be in touch to say hi. And especially if anything I have said resonates for you and you would like to enhance yourself in a different way than the current offerings of those here, I invite you to be in touch.

I truly feel blessed by the many thousands of people I have spoken to over the years. I don't know that I would have had the opportunity to meet many of you if it wasn't for this fetish and environment. If I would have had one wish, I would have wished that we "met" under different circumstances as I believe there are many pieces of the dynamic that doesn't foster the best connections. However there are many types of relationships we have in life that serve different purposes and for what was, it was pretty awesome.

It feels like a good bye in some ways, and good byes often are melancholy for me. But it doesn't have to be one. If you want to be in touch in a "person to person" type of way, the next move is up to you. I wish everyone here all the best and that enjoyable times are what is most often had by all parties concerned.

Play (& Stay) Safe,
Isis