Wishing for a Miracle?

"The secret behind miracles
is that the one performing them
begins without any knowledge
whatsoever of exactly how they
will succeed, yet still they begin.

When you move, I move -
The Universe

Once again, taking action
saves the day."

Tut.com

There is a site that has "messages
from the universe." The above
quote is one of them.

You can get on their mailing list
and receive the messages daily.
The story behind the site is likely
to be an example of a "miracle,"
given that the person who created
it had no idea what he was creating
as he went along.

I don't know about you, but it seems
I often don't know where I am going,
until I get where I am headed, only
to be going on to the next place.

I am never settled for very long.
I can't be, it seems. Every time
I think I am "there," it lasts for
only a moment, often leaving me
with questions and sometimes
frustrations, as I don't always
know what I am "supposed" to be
doing.

If life is a miracle unto itself,
which I would say it is, then the
act of living also is which means
that everything we do is in some
part miracle.

I know of many people who feel
stuck, and don't know what they're
"supposed" to be doing, either,
and yet there is a good chance
that whatever they're supposed
to be doing is exactly what they
are doing. Countless times I find
that my moments of questioning
offer me much needed perspective
or a foundation for a future date.

Given that I know this it doesn't
mean that those times of questioning
have stopped. It seems that it is
a part of being human. It seems to
be a part of the process of life.

Aren't we lucky?

Okay, so that was partly sarcastic
(that lovely New Yorker in me).
Seriously, though, it can really
suck at times. But maybe what sucks
is our need to figure out things
rather than the things we feel we
need to figure out.

I have found that much that I have
enjoyed in my life are things that
I never figured out, but they came
as a result of me continuing to put
one foot in front of the other, and
living life the best way I knew how
to at the time.

I read something today about timing,
and how sometimes we try to rush it.
Maybe the thing you are struggling
with at the moment is something that
has its own timing, and when you have
gotten whatever you need to from it,
you will know exactly what to do, and
the way will be clear.

In a relationship that I have spoken
about previously the end should have
come long before it actually did.
However, the end seemed to be something
that occurred over time. Even as it
still seemed to have life, it was in
the process of dying. When it finally
was dead, I knew it. I had known it
the times before, but didn't want to
know it. I kept putting the relationship
on life support. But when it was finally
over, it was clearer than ever, and instead
of fighting it in some way, it was a
huge relief.

As I look back on it now, it seems a
lifetime ago. It also is an experience
that helps me to understand where others
might be in their experience. It helps
me to speak in a way that might be heard.
If I had gotten married young, and was
happily married for years. Because mine
had an ending more than once before the
actual finale, I was able to relate to
those who have ended relationships only
to continue them.

Oddly enough I am grateful for what things
like this have brought to my experience
of life for others - as well as myself.
It helps me to see things in ways that
are richer and with more depth as a result.

I thought I knew a thing or two in that
relationship, but now that thing or two
has much more depth, plus I know a thing
or two more.

Miracles in life are built upon the actions
in the moments leading up to them, and in
some way it is a miracle that I am sitting
here now talking to you. Had I stayed in
that relationship odds are better than great
I wouldn't be.

Here's to the miracle that brought us
together! Cheers.

Isis
If you enjoyed this entry,
(or found it helpful)
please click below:

Quote | Do you agree?

"No man is happy or complete without the
modifying influence of the right woman."
- Napolean Hill, Think and Grow Rich

OK you guys...let me know what you think
of this statement...I would love to know.
I would also love to know how you would
define "right," if you know what that is.

If you enjoyed this entry,
(or found it helpful)
please click below:

What to do?

There are countless articles and resources that
will tell you how "women" are or how "men" are.
While there may be some valid points, it would
seem to me that heeding these articles (often
even contrary to one another) can mean more
problem or difficulties.

I wonder why it is that we haven't considered
that maybe people are just different, regardless
of the sex of the person. If we would consider
stopping taking things for granted, and start
communicating with those who matter, we would
likely find what the "truth" of the person's
reality and situation is rather than putting
someone else's assessment and opinion as an
overlay, and interacting with that.

The next time you consider reacting to a woman
a certain way because she is a woman, consider
that you might be better off stepping back,
and asking some questions. You may get looked
at like you have two heads, and it may take
some patience, but in the end the ability to
truly understand and communicate can't be
undervalued more by those who think they have
the "absolute" answers.

The only way we're going to truly be able to
understand each other, and determine whether
or not we can work with their framework is to
determine what it truly is - not what someone
else has told us it is.

Sadly, I think most of us have been hypnotized
to believe otherwise, and as a result we often
will find ourselves swimming against the tide.

If you find yourself tired of fighting, consider
you may not know all that you need to know,
or that what you think you know is incorrect,
and consider starting anew.

You might find that what you thought you knew
isn't that at all, and what truly is works less
for you than what you thought you knew.

There is also a chance you might just be
pleasantly surprised.

If you enjoyed this entry (or found it helpful),
please click below:

The Human Experience (A few thoughts from a Documentary)

I just watched The Human Experience. It is a
documentary that touches on a few things that
are profound.

It has gotten some mixed reviews, and a few
awards, and I personally feel a bit mixed
about my experience of it. However there
were some very pointed and poignent moments.

Two things that stuck out to me were:

One of the guys featured in the film looked
straight at the camera and was talking about
a kindergarten teacher. He said that he
was unable to color in the lines, and for
that reason the teacher basically told him
he would amount to nothing.

He said this while in Africa.

It made me think about how we as adults have
adult versions that tell people that they're
"nothing" or that they'll never get anywhere.

Interestingly, it seems as though he may have
(even in small part) been spurred on by what
she said, so who knows? Maybe it was something
that was meant to be, and contributed to whatever
he winds up doing. We are, after all, motivated
by things both "negative" and "positive."

The second thing was something that a Rabbi
said. I am guessing it may have been said
some other place, perhaps in a similar way,
but what he said was something I had never
heard before.

He spoke of a metaphor of all of life to a
musical composition. He suggested that each
person was a note in that composition waiting
to be played, and integral to the piece.

So what does your contribution "sound" like?

The film is about how we are connected and
how we all matter. If that type of message
speaks to you, it might be worth a view.

Have a great night.

If you enjoyed this entry, please click below:

 

Turmoil and Peace

Turmoil and peace often are related.

Sometimes you need some external
turmoil to bring some inner peace.

Sometimes external turmoil is
caused by a lack of inner peace.

There are times we don't want to make
waves, but at the same time, we need
to because it is time to make a change.

Change is uncomfortable, and even
more so when we fight it. You may
somehow think that you are doing
yourself (or perhaps even someone
you care about) a favor by not
making waves.

But if you are not at peace with your
life on the inside, you aren't doing
anyone any favors, and odds are sooner
or later things around you will change,
whether you want them to, or not.

It might be better to take a good,
long, hard look at things, and figure
out what it is that you do want, and
go about making changes. Things will
possibly be rocky, but I would bet
not as rocky as you might think.

However, however rocky it is, at the
other side is likely the inner peace
you've been wishing for. Life can be
challenging sometimes, but there are
times we seem to make things more
difficult for ourselves by fighting
what we already know.

In all of life there are cycles of
destruction followed by creation,
why would we ever think we were
exempt? What if we accepted that
sometimes things do - and need to -
change? Might we be happier and
better off for it?

I suspect the answer is yes, but
it doesn't really matter what the
answer is. If you are unhappy,
something has to change, if you
want to stop the unhappiness, and
there is a very good chance it
won't be any of the other people
involved.

There was a time in my life that
I knew something had to change,
but I just wanted things to work
out. I wanted the OTHER person
to see things my way. I wasn't
changing, the situation wasn't
changing, the other person wasn't
changing. I felt trapped, frustrated
and miserable - not to mention
scared - although at the time I
don't think I really acknowledged
my fears. Looking back, I'd say
my fears were a much bigger player
and decision-maker than I realized.

Eventually I took steps, as difficult
as they were, and backslid more than
once. Things finally came to a head,
and when the final step for lasting
change came, I couldn't have been
more relieved. What a difference.
As silly as it may sound, I felt like I
could breathe again. I had been holding
my breath for months, maybe even years.

That was a key time for me, and one I
often refer to. In looking back, I have
been able to move forward.

No one says you have to change, but if
you're unhappy, you may just want to.
Remember to be kind to yourself, odds
are you're doing the best you can.
While you're at it, consider looking at
turmoil as your friend, who's just
trying to help you get where you want
to be - whether you think you know where
that is, or not. :P
 

Remembering who you are

I caught the end of a Twilight Zone
episode last night in which a woman
in a department store appeared to
be losing her mind.

She said she had spoken to a sales
woman who, when she saw her again,
was a mannequin.

She seemed to be scared and freaking
out as she found herself in store
after it closed.

She got in the elevator, and the
mannequin who now appeared as a
woman was assisting her to come
out of the elevator, telling her
how silly she was being.

As the two of them walked, a number
of other mannequins that seemed to
be alive joined them. The woman
who brought her from the elevator
asked her to see what she could
remember, that "they" would help
her to remember.

Slowly, and surely, the upset woman
began to recall that she has just
returned from her 30 days in the
"real" world. Apparently, the
mannequins took turns being real
for that period of time.

It made me think about what is our
reality. How do we define it? Is
the unreal so real that when we
return to who we truly are, it is
scary? Do we sometimes need help
to be reminded of who we are?

Interestingly, when she remembered
who she was, she was quite peaceful.
It also turned out that she was a
day late in her return. Could that
have added to her state? The more
we are lost and/or resist our true
selves, the more likely we are to
be anxious, upset, frustrated,
confused. The list goes on.

Consider what you have accepted as
your reality, and see how peaceful
you are about it. If you're not so
peaceful, maybe you just need some
help to remember who you are.

I could be wrong, but I suspect that
life for some is the opposite of that
episode with the wooden world of the
mannequin seeming to be the real one.

Need help? Peace?
Maybe I can be of assistance.
 

Still here?

Apparently those who thought the world
was going to come to an end this week
were - in some cases - disappointed.

Apparently, for some it would have been
a relief. Those who gave up their jobs
and their possessions certainly had
their world transform, but not likely in
the way they anticipated.

It got me to thinking about what life
would be if we knew when the end would
come. What if we had some warning?
Would people act the way those who believed
did?

The fact of the matter is that we do, in
some way, have a situation just like that.

Most of us know that living to 100 is fairly
unlikely. Average life expectancy in the US
is 78.7 years, so we know the end is coming,
and barring any unforeseen circumstances,
we might anticipate that amount of time
before our world, as we know it, ceases to
exist.

It's just that we play this game that is
part denial. We act as though we have
forever, and as a child it certainly seems
that way. At the age of 5, we've lived
approx 1/15 of what might be the length of
our life. The rest of the time seems so
far away.

Many children know how best to be in the
moment, focusing on that one thing they must
have, or do, now. Their attention may
shift to "when I am older" when they realize
that they do not have the ability to do what
they want to do, thinking that being an adult
will change everything in the most magical
of ways.

I can't help but wonder if that way of
looking at things stays with us - that we
keep thinking that tomorrow will have the
answers we don't have today. So we wind up
living more for what is to come than in what
we have now. As a result, we don't truly
look at what is in front of us. We are
unwilling to see things as they are. After
all, if you don't feel like you have the
ability to change things, you have to find
a way to cope, don't you?

But the thing is...odds are you are not a
child reading this. Odds are you are an
adult who has the ability to discern things
and to make choices. The game is not over
until you take your last breath. Many things
in life may feel impossible to change, but
that is because you have yet to find an
option that you can live with better.

Sometimes it is difficult to see past where
you are because steps have to be taken for
you to be able to see other things. On the
east coast of the US, it is impossible to
see the Eiffel Tower, except in video or
image. It might as well just be a dream.

But get in your car, go to the airport, get
on a plane, fly to Paris, perhaps connect
through somewhere else, and you will be
steps closer to your target, and you will
see things you never saw before, and have
experiences impossible to have while standing
on the eastern shores of the US. When you
look back the things that looked like hurdles
will likely seem insignificant. You probably
had no idea what else was possible along the
way.

It'd be nice if we all had a genie in a bottle,
but since we don't, we have the next best
thing: our ability to make our own magic
through the choices we make.

Yeah. I know. Not the same, at all. One
takes no effort at all on your part.

I can only speculate why life is set up this
way, and there are many who have their own
ideas. But I'd say one key is to acknowledge
where you are, and get moving. Wherever you
are headed, it will take one step at a time
to get there, and I bet if you pay attention
there is some beautiful scenery along the way.

Better yet, the destination may very well be
even more beautiful than you imagined - and
it all began with that first scary step. So
good, in fact, you may even have to refrain
from kicking yourself in the butt, wondering
what took you so long to get there. :P
 

What if...?

What if...
you're not in a relationship because
you're not in a relationship?

What if...
you're not talking to your brother because
you're not talking to your brother?

What if...
you're not making more money because
you're not making more money?

What if...
you're taking the vacation because
you want to take the vacation?

What if...?

Some would believe there is something
"wrong" with you if you're not in a
relationship.

Some would give you a hard time if you're
not talking to your brother. What did
YOU do wrong?

Some would say you're not motivated,
or not working hard enough, if you're
not making more money.

Some would say it's not wise to take
that vacation for money reasons, or
maybe where you want to go is not where
you should go.

Sometimes those with the best of
intentions will tell us what to
do, when to do it, and how best to do
it, and if we don't listen - and things
aren't the way we think they should be -
then there has to be something wrong
with us.

If someone wants to be in a relationship,
and isn't, that is the only explanation
there is, isn't there? After all, we
always all get what we want, don't we,
and if we don't, we certainly have to
be standing in our own way, right?

What if...life just sometimes doesn't
seem to cooperate? What if...life has
other ideas? What if...the masterpiece
takes time to create?

I don't know about you, but I find it
very difficult to live in a world in
which our seeming ability or inability
to have something becomes a judgment
when all it might be is a "fact."

What if...we stopped to take people
where they were and just supported and
loved them instead of judging them?
I suspect then that those who don't
have something they want, and have
frustrations they don't want, would
then perhaps have a little more peace.

After all...if something isn't happening
the way they'd like it to, it doesn't
necessarily mean they're missing anything,
or need to be fixed, and your impressions
to the contrary may only add to the
unpleasant and uncomfortable mix.

This is not to say sometimes we might need
a kick in the butt, or need a change of
venue or scenery, but the person who is
in the best position to guage that is in
the life you might think you know how
best to live. Unfortunately, your life
and your desires and your circumstances
are not always going to be the same for
another, and your solution - as wonderful
as it may seem to be - may not be a
solution at all.

What if...we only sought to help when a
person sought our assistance?

What if...others allowed us to be responsible
to ourselves and our choices and allowed us
to be OK with our own disappointments, without
feeling in some way that WE were a disappointment,
too?

The fact is
sometimes things just happen.

The fact is
sometimes things don't happen.

The fact is
we may just have to be disappointed sometimes.

The fact is
we can't always have what we want,
how we want it,
with who we want it,
when we want it

and the fact is...
that odds are quite good that
despite other's judgments and
concerns, and intentions, if
who you are and what you do
works for you, then it might
just be where you need to be
right here, right now.

And, and another potential fact is...
It might just suck.

Where did we ever get the
idea that we as human beings
would know all the answers?
It seems it would be at the
same time that not knowing
all the answers, and/or not
being able to "fix" our
circumstances became a problem,
or made us one.

Maybe who you are is perfect.

Odds are good, too, that
you've been on both sides
of this fence. Perhaps this
conversation will have you
look at things a bit differently
going forward.

Most people would likely say
"love" is their motivation for
helping. If one truly loves
another, s/he will love in
spite of another's seeming
imperfections.

Of course there are extremes,
and there are exceptions,
however I'd say that there is
likely much more middle ground
than most are likely to give.

What do you think?
 

Many Paths

Sometimes in life it is easy to think that
there should be one clear-cut path for
everyone to take. It certainly would
be much simpler, wouldn't it? We'd all
know what to expect, because everyone would
be following the same path, at the same
speed. Life would look very much like the
image on the left.


Fortunately, or unfortunately, life it much
more like the image on the right. There is
one point of origin that we all come from,
but we can go off on many divergent paths,
sometimes slower than others, and sometimes
crossing over others for a moment.

It is seemingly much more chaotic than the
simplicity of the image on the left. At
the same time, I would venture a guess that
the reason it seems so chaotic is because
instead of focusing on our own path and life,
we are often busy gauging what another is doing,
some even spending energy trying to get others
to conform.

What if we could all be more present in, and
focused on, our own lives? Might our lives
feel more like the image on the left?

What do you think?
 

Sometimes life doesn't smell like roses, or taste like cherries...

and sometimes it can be pretty darn bittersweet.

Often people talk a good game when desired
relationships don't materialize: "she wasn't
the right one for you," "next time will be
better," "he didn't appreciate you," on and
on and on. Sometimes we'll even tell ourselves
those refrains to make ourselves feel better.

We lead with our emotions, and then follow up
with the logic that makes us feel good about
what just happened.

I had an experience with someone recently
that was beautiful, sweet, and sad all
rolled into one. I got to see tremendous
beauty in what was given me - albeit for a
relatively short time. And because it was
so beautiful, the loss of it was painful.

The person involved didn't want to hurt me,
but it was in some way inevitable, I suppose,
given the circumstances, but it was something
I willingly, cautiously, and optimistically
walked into.

For a long time the person didn't want
to talk to me, afraid to hurt me more.
What they didn't realize was that -
for me - the silence was much more painful.
There is a sense of relief and freedom
that I now have that I didn't before
our conversation.

If you think you are doing a person a
favor by being silent, you may want
to think again. Not everyone will be
like me, but the opportunity to talk
provides something the silence does not.

I can't "blame" the person, or even get mad.
I care too much about the person to do that,
and that is what is so beautiful for me
about this situation. I am able to see the
beauty in the midst of the pain.

Would I rather be pain free? Absolutely!
But life is rarely without its bumps and
issues. It seems we too often want smooth
sailing and things to magically happen,
forgetting that things often have a mind
of their own - which doesn't correspond
with our timetable or desires.

Life is about choice, and we have countless
opportunities to make choices, even when
we don't acknowledge them. For many, a
natural reaction to my situation would
have been much more devastating. For me,
I choose to focus on the good, instead of
the sad, even though a part of me is indeed
sad. At the same time, I feel amazingly
empowered, and feel freer in regard to
this situation than I have in a long time.

If you are able to give a person their
space to be themselves, it is an incredible
gift that you give, and a most unselfish
one, if it happens to disagree with what
you want. It won't be easy, especially
if you care, but forcing the issue can be
detrimental to what you want any way.

I share this not so much to say, "look
at how great I am," but rather as a
testament to how life at times can
truly suck, but how much it sucks in
our experience truly is a choice we make.

It is a choice made much easier when it
has a foundation AND when there is a
clear intent and purpose. If you truly
love someone, and it's not about what
you get, choices, even if unpleasant, are
made easier.

My situation is made better by the
acknowledgment that we sometimes are
only handed the sampler, and that is
all we get.

My gratitude flows, and...

It still sucks. Wanting more that you
can have always does. But that is
part of the beauty - at least you had
something as great as your desire for more,
and THAT is where my focus will be -
most of the time, and when it's not,
*sigh* oh well.

I hope you never have to experience
what I did. At the same time, it is one
of the most beautiful experiences I have
had in my life.

 

Loving Unconditionally

I once lived with someone who believed
that in order for there to be love,
it had to look, feel, and be a certain
way.

I didn't agree.

I also didn't know how much I actually
knew at the time because at the time
I had more a "feeling" than anything
to really back up what I felt.

I used to tell him I loved him - and
it didn't matter what he did, or
didn't do. There was a lot that I
didn't like of what he did and he
didn't do, but I was as clear as I
could be at the time that I did,
indeed, love him.

While I was clear that he didn't have
the same way of looking at things,
as it seemed his "love" for me waivered
by how I was or wasn't, what I didn't
get for a long time was that I didn't
love myself in equal measure.

Why do I say this?

Because we were together much longer
than we should have been. If I had
loved myself more, I wouldn't have
let my love for him keep me in a
relationship that did not work.

Of course, there was more to it than
"just" the idea of love, and its
definition, but looking back I can
see it much more clearly.

Sometimes people can not be the way
we would like or need them to be,
and we can love them any way. But,
it does not mean we need to love
them in a relationship that denies
us of who we are, or what we need.

Sometimes the greatest gift of love
for ourselves and/or another is to
acknowledge the love and create a
new way to love, which may or may
not be a relationship (which,
incidentally, holds true for any
type of relationship, intimate, or not.)

Of course, opinions will vary on this,
and there will be a whole bunch of
"buts" and considerations. However,
consider that there may be a hallow
foundation in a relationship in which
either or both of its parties deny
themselves, and sooner or later -
depending on the overall picture -
you may feel the collapse, which could
a lot worse than walking away intentionally.
 

Can Men & Women Be Friends?

I was speaking with someone today who
mentioned the film When Harry Met Sally.
In the film Harry, played by Billy
Crystal, tells Sally, played by Meg
Ryan, that it is impossible for men
and women to be friends because men
are always sexually interested in women.

I think it is an interesting question,
and also an interesting analysis and
conclusion. I say this because it
would seem that sexual attraction "has"
to have an inevitable conclusion/action,
at least according to some.

Does an attraction have to be acted
upon? I guess that depends on the
person you talk to, and what their
perspective is. And, if it is not
acted upon, where are the parties
involved left?

Some are unable to have a dynamic of
any type if the type that they want
is unavailable (all or nothing principle).
The fact is that if the two parties
are able and willing to be friends,
the possibility to be friends exists.
It may not be the easiest thing to do,
as nature may have other designs, but
it depends on what is at the core of the
relationship that is a friendship.

If the core is respect and love, a
friendship of any type is one that
will be rewarding no matter how you
slice it. Can it suck? Absolutely.
At one point Sally's feelings get
hurt, and she tells Harry she really
wants to hate him.

There is a fine line that can be
walked in any dynamic between two
people, some more tricky than others.
It all depends what is important to
you, and if you love and respect the
other person, you will allow for
the relationship to take shape in
any way that is supportive of both
of you.

If there is a lack of love and/or
respect, then it is a whole different
ballgame, likely with much different
expectations, actions, and results.

One thing does not necessarily mean
another thing. When we start to
make things mean something (attraction=
a necessity to act on it) is when we
will likely find ourselves in trouble.

I would think that lust is the biggest
troublemaker of all, as it has no
foundation on which to stand when there
is nothing else to support it.

Lusting after someone that you love
and respect, while having love and
respect for yourself is very different
than going after someone just because
your libido is speaking volumes.

Matters of the heart are never easy
to navigate, as they rarely are on
a straight and narrow path. That is
why knowing who you are at the core
will help to guide you in times of
difficulty. Just be sure that the
direction you take is your own, and
not those of society, family, friends.

In general, I'd say that when you
find your head and heart at odds,
it is the heart that speaks from
the core of who you are, and it
is the head that tells you things
as they should be - according to
what others believe.

Following your heart won't be the
easiest thing you'll ever do at
times - but it likely will be the
most rewarding. Some times the
challenge to be friends in the
midst of attraction is one worth
hurdling. If nothing else, it
might be more likely to withstand
the test of time and other challenges.

And, then again...who the heck knows
what's best for you - other than you?
:P
 

The Soul of Sex

"The person who knows only the compulsions
of sex has never experienced its soul."

- Thomas Moore
Soul Mates
Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship

There have been times I have used hypnosis
erotically for someone I have been intimate
with. As wonderful as it was, there were
times I didn't want it to be a part of our
dynamic.

Some might wonder why that is, as for some
it would be a fantasy come true to be always,
ever wrapped up within a hypnotic, erotic
web of pleasure.

For me, it has something to do with what
Thomas Moore refers to. In some way, hypnotic
suggestion can remove a person from being
truly in touch with one's self, one's soul.

There is nothing - in my mind - that is more
beautiful, amazing or profound than connecting
with someone in an unfiltered way, and that
includes the effect of best hypnotic suggestion
you've ever felt.

For those who have had the experience, I am
sure you must know what I am talking about.
For those who haven't, consider that it might
be something beautiful to aspire to.

Just so you know, I am not saying that one should
be an absolute substitute for the other, but
rather that one complement the other, creating a
greater wealth of choices to choose from. As a
result it creates even more opportunity for
pleasure, as I would suggest that the pleasure of
compulsions can be rather one-sided, while the
pleasure of the soul is amplified because of the
connection it shares with another.

There is someone that I found out was going into
trance every time he masturbated. He thought it
was a good thing - until I stopped him from doing it.

He went from never remembering what was happening,
or the pleasure he felt to being fully aware, and
loved being able to know how good what he was doing
felt. He thanked me for making the change.

It can be similar when you get caught up in the
feelings of triggers. It is almost something that
is separate from you. If you take a step back,
you can be more aware of what is happening, and
make it even better as a result. Connection is
a pleasure key, even if it is "just" connecting
with yourself.

Don't believe me? Try it for yourself. For
anyone who sees sex as an escape, this might be
an intimidating suggestion. It will threaten
what appears to be a safety net. It is the
vulnerability of the approach that helps to bring
about the "reward." It might seem ironic that
out of trance you are more vulnerable, but if
you think about it, it will likely make sense.
You are much less vulnerable when it is perceived
that you are without a choice than when the choice
is yours to make.

If you aren't sure how to do this, feel free to
ask me about it. You really might be surprised
at just how amazing it could be.

Have a great night.
 

Does Judging Another Lead to Self Destructive Behavior?

I just read an article about how one
might be able to spot those who want
to do us harm by the type of watch
they wear. According to the article,
the reasoning has something to do
with certain connections made by
investigators.

It made me think about a Twilight
Zone episode that I just recently
watched. In the episode, a street
in America is going about their
business, when it seems an asteroid
flies over, although no one is sure
what it truly is.

Odd things start to happen. Cars
won't start, lights won't light,
phones won't work.

There is a kid on the street who
tells everyone what "they" - the
aliens - want, according to the
stories. "They" don't want anyone,
but those sent down previously who
look like humans, to leave.

At first, what he said is laughed
off. But then one of the neighbors
is trying to start his car. He
can't seem to, but then suddenly
it starts, when he is no where near
it. And, then, in a bit it shuts
off in an equally mysterious manner.

Everyone else begins to think that
he must be the alien. After all,
nothing works for anyone else, so
if it works for him, then he must
be the alien.

Watching it I couldn't help but
think why would an alien want to
draw attention to himself in such
an obvious way...but it is apparent
that no one is rationally considering
that possibility.

As the day goes by, those who are
affected seem to be more and more
willing to look for things in any
of those who live on the street
that would be a reason to believe
THEY are the alien.

The guy whose car wouldn't start
also seemed to have an insomnia
problem, so he would sometimes at
night come outside and stare at
the sky...of course THAT had to
mean something.

The situation keeps escalating,
as lights in different people's
homes flicker on and off, and
as it does, the camera pans
back, and you see two speaking.
One is explaining to the other
that the events that have just
occurred have happened every
time they have set up the same
conditions. Essentially, it is
explained, that humans will
ultimately destroy themselves.

We may not know if the type of
watch someone wears is a "sign"
of bad things, but what we do
know is that if we're not
careful, our fears will have
us be reactive to the point that
we won't have to worry about
someone else destroying us, we
will destroy ourselves first.

Nothing has any meaning, except
for the meaning we give it. It
can be both helpful (stove=hot=
burn) and detrimental, depending
on the circumstance.

This applies to all types of
things and situations, and to
something as simple as an
argument with a loved one.

How often do our assessments
and interpretations wind up
hurting us more than helping?

It may seem we are logically
protecting ourselves, but if
were not careful that protection
system will help us self destruct.

Consider that the next time you
judge someone a certain way by
the way they tie their shoelace
or, even worse, have shoes without
laces.

I realize I may be oversimplifying,
but it sadly may not be too far
from some of the scenarios that
are all too real.

As always, just a little
something to consider and,
interested in hearing your
thoughts.
 

You're a Real Person? What a Coincidence...

So am I!

There is something about this virtual world that
we have created that seems to depersonalize
relationships and objectify people.

It is an odd thing, given that all of this stuff
we do has the ability to truly connect us in
ways never before possible.

There would have been a time that you and I
could never have "met." You would have been
in Wisconsin, and I would have been in Texas,
and the only way we might have even heard of
the other is if one of us made the news, and
the other was fortunate enough to have a
television on which to watch it, and that
is only in more recent history. Go back
further, and the odds of us even knowing that
the other existed, short of one of us being
an Alexander, were likely to be astronomical.

So why do I bring this up?

Lately I have told some people that even if
they decide not to call for hypnosis, I would
still welcome them saying "hey" once in a
while. I told them that I always think about
those I connect with.

I can practically guarantee you that if you
and I spoke once at length, or even just a
few times, odds are I remember something
about you and that conversation.

I suspect some think I am like the check out
person at the grocery store. What do they
care if they see you beyond today? Odds are
these days, they may even be barely aware
that you're there (another blog perhaps?),
and know nothing of you. They likely don't
know if you're married, have kids, are
travelling for business, just bought a new
car, have a pet...

I may not know all of those things, either,
but there is a good chance I may know a
couple, and if you tell me you're about to
go to Europe on business, I will likely
wonder at some point how the trip went.
If I hear news about something happening
in Europe, I will wonder if you are anywhere
near what is happening, and hope that wherever
it is, you are safe.

While it may sound like I could be caught up
in thoughts of you for hours, rest assured,
I am not, but that doesn't mean you won't
cross my mind.

It could be that I am just a different type
of person, as every job I have ever had in
a retail type of environment, I would have
regulars who I would speak to, and be
conversational with, as time allowed. I
even got gifts from a few.

I truly do care about those I interact with,
and speak to. I don't always know what to
do with it, and it isn't always in my best
interest to, but it just seems to be in the
nature of who I am.

This could be a really good thing for you,
as it means I won't treat you like a mindless
vessel waiting for me to fill you up.

At the same time, I know that the hypnotic
fetish world seems to thrive on the antithesis
of who I am, so it may just show you that I
am not the right person for you.

I would rather take what you got and tweak it,
and discover who you are than to empty you
out and make you into some mindless clone or
drone. Maybe you have something to offer me
that I could never have known about, and if
I take that away from you, then I would most
assuredly be missing out on something special.

Some see me as a Goddess. I'd like to think
that if that is the case, then I am the best
of what a Goddess has to offer. I'd like to
think that I can inspire someone to be the
best of who they are.

I might just be silly. But that's OK, as
I am more than used to it by now. It isn't
always easy to feel like I am going against
the predominant tide. However, the beauty
is that when you join me, neither one of
us will care what is going on "out there,"
and you'll be feeling really good "in there."
 

Let the Sun Shine In | Video

There used to be someone in my life that
I called "Sunshine."

That person did so much for me. Our
interactions were soul full, and
inspirational, and it was an amazing
connection that we shared.

I am reminded of this today, as this
song was going through my head.



The song reminds me of the bittersweet
feeling of the memories, as that is
all I now have, but it is also a
reminder to allow others to be my
sunshine, and to let them into my
heart and world as well.

Sometimes when things don't work out
as we would like, it is all too easy
to give up, abandon ship, and close
ourselves off. Let this song be a
reminder to you, as well.

I am certain that we can all have
lots of sun shining in our lives
through the gifts of those who are
in them - whether it is for a
moment, or a lifetime.

Have a great night.
 

Why knowing what is important is important...

In what amounts to "old" news (abut 2 weeks
ancient, actually) is what happened with
Miss Maine 2011, Emily Johnson.

She apparently abdicated her crown and
responsibilities because she had previous
plans for the weekend that the Miss USA
pageant was rescheduled to: her sister's
wedding.

Apparently there are many who are "disappointed"
in her choice not to fulfill her obligation.

While I understand that there are times that
people will count on us for something, there
are times that we will be unable to fulfill
their expectations.

Sometimes it will be for reasons that might
seem less than positive, and other times it
might be a case where someone just knows that
what they are doing is the right thing for
them to do.

Any time someone is disappointed, there will
be judgment and reasons to do what you
committed to. However, in some cases when
things happen to change the dynamic of your
commitment, it would be important to know
what is important to you so you will know
how best to proceed, and how to act when
those around you want you to act in a
potentially different way than you want to.

In general, it is good to be clear about
what is at the core of who you and and what
you want. When you are aware, it becomes
your Guidance System. When you aren't aware,
look to others, or are unwilling to listen,
you will likely perceive disappointment,
but it will more likely come from that
voice inside. You will also be more likely
to feel confused and unclear about what to
do, as well as have the associated feelings
that go with that.

It isn't often (ever?) easy to take a
stand, but I give those of you who are
reading this and are willing to be clear,
and to act on your convictions, big time
credit. You may or may not know where
you want to go, but you'll always know
if the things you are doing are getting
you any closer to being there. You
will also always know where you don't
want to be, so actions can be guided
that way, as well.

Perhaps there was a compromise of some
sort to be struck here, but you can
bet that if she had chosen the pageant
over her sister/family, there would
have been different types of judgments.

You'll never please everyone around
you, and trying is usually an unfruitful
task. While you are busy trying to
please them, consider that if you
were to do what works best for you, odds
are good you would be of better benefit
to those around you than if you bent to
their desires and/or manipulations.

It may not always be the case, but
if in the end only one of you will
feel OK with the outcome, who would
you want it to be? You? Or them?

(There's no "right" or "wrong"
answer, as there may be times you
want to please someone else, even
if it's not what you want. But by
choosing the answer over just going
with it by default will leave you
feeling better overall.

How you answer the question will
help you choose what to do next.)
 

What if...

we were born to a world without other
people? I know it's impossible to
consider at this stage in the game,
but what if.

If there were no other people there
would be no expectations. There
would be - in some ways - a blank
slate. We could do whatever we
wanted to do. I would have to
wonder if we would even know what
disappointment was...because how
would we know that what was wasn't
exactly how it should be.

How would we know sadness?

As I write, I am formulating this
"conversation," as it is difficult
to conceptualize what life would
be without another's influence,
as we are subject to others'
influences from the first moment
of life...and perhaps even before.

I think about things like this
sometimes because actions of those
I speak with are often influenced
by what others around them will
think.

There is zero judgment regarding
this, as I, too, am subject to the
same type of potential restriction.
I am not in any way exempt.

When I was in my teens I had a
conversation with someone about
appearances. The person I was
speaking with was trying to
convince me that if I was coming
out of a bar it might appear that
I was drinking. After all, for
most what does a person do in a
bar, if not drink?

I responded by saying that I
wasn't drinking, and what did
I care what someone thought.

She decided to try another approach.
She was a married woman. She said
what would it be like for her to
go out with a single man? My
response was what would it matter?
If she and he knew nothing was
awry, why should anyone care?

I look back on that conversation,
and I think about how the differences
in our approaches may have had something
to do with "adult" sensibilities.

As an adult, perhaps, we can see how
another's perception of who we are
can alter our world, and potentially
limit what we are able to do.

As a result, we limit ourselves first.

In speaking with someone recently,
I was saying that I wonder if I could
consider choices in isolation of others'
judgments if I would do things differently.

I was thinking of something in particular,
and it would be a case of I know what I
was doing and what I wasn't doing, but
if someone had a different perception,
or perhaps even judged what I thought
was OK as not OK in their experience, I
couldn't help but wonder what the net
effect could possibly be.

One who might consider himself or herself
wise might be wise to consider what one
does before acting on it, as there could
be unpleasant consequences.

But what does that ultimately cost us?

Those things we hold back on...might they
be things that would make a difference
for those in our lives and others in our
extended world family if they were to
be acted on? Might they make a difference
for the most important person in your
life - YOU?

I speak as a person who is quite often
the "odd" one, so I know what it is like
to try to walk on that tightrope. Often
my opinions and thoughts will vary from
those around me, and it isn't an easy
place to stand. When in Rome, do as the
Romans do, or get kicked out.

However the thing I have noticed is that
the more I am willing to take a stand
and be different - even in the difficulty -
the more it seems to help others be who
they want to be, and I think that is
pretty awesome.

We seem to need permission to be ourselves.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?) the only
person around who can do that for us, is us.
But watching and observing and interacting
with others can often help to prompt us to
act on what we already know.

Maybe it is good that we have others around.
Maybe it helps us to realize what is
important to us because to be OK with it
we have to take a stand.

I don't know that that is the case, but...
if we're going to have to be in a dynamic,
we might as well make it mean something
good and empowering, don't you think?

So while you are out living your life,
trying to figure out what the right thing
to do is, caring about what others may
think and how others may react, remember
that there are others who are attempting
to do the very same thing.

The more we can give people the freedom
to be themselves, the less likely we will
have to hide - or deny - parts of ourselves.

Also consider that while you may think you
know someone or something by appearance,
you may not have a clue. Consider that
judgments often come from who we think a
person is, rather than who s/he truly is.

If you're going to stand in judgment of
another, at least have your facts straight.
But better yet, see what you can do about
refraining from a judgment. What difference
does it make to anyone else if I was in a
bar drinking or a married woman goes out
with a single man?

Yes. I realize there are a whole bunch of
societal pieces and questions that can be
attached to those questions, but if you
feel compelled to be involved, then at
least do everyone a favor and "get your
facts straight" so that you are at least
responding to what is, and not what you
have created it to be in your own mind.

What do you think? Do you feel judged?
Do you judge? Do the judgments have a
bottom line effect?
 

A Nice Retreat?

A soft, silk voice whispers in your ear.

There are sensations in your body
that feel amazing. Perhaps even
more amazing than any you have ever
felt in person with someone.

You feel such wonderful feelings as you
focus on this person who gives you a
feeling of incredible desire.

You want more.

It worked out so well the first time,
you seek it out a second time. And
the second time, well, it's even
better. This hypnotic thing is a
treat. It is even better than that;
it is a retreat.

You find yourself thinking about this
person and the pleasure more and more,
and you are finding you are thinking
about the things in your own life less
and less...especially the things that
aren't working.

It helps you cope with the stresses of
work and the stresses of that relationship
you're in. It helps you to deal with all
of the responsibilities you have.

This is a good thing.

Right?

You call more. You feel more. You retreat more.

No one really knows what you are going through,
and you yourself are even less aware, spending
more and more time retreating into a world that
is so much more pleasant and so much more
manageable. As a matter of fact, all you have
to do is obey, and that is so easy compared to
what else you have to deal with.

It's a world you love to enter, and you find
yourself entering it more and more because your
pesky life and relationships keep trying to
remind you of the things you'd rather forget.

You keep trying out new people...as you figure
you might be safer that way. You realize
something isn't quite right. A part of you
knows, and is desperate for you to know, but
you are doing your best to shut it up.

You know what you need, and it is escape.

Everyone needs a little escape every now and
then, and you deserve to have it with all that
you are going through. You are not going to
let anything get in the way...so you do it
even more, just so you can make sure you never
lose something that has given you the freedom
to retreat from the life you have.

The last person you are going to let take this
away from you is you. You need this.

You need it now, even more than ever.

You call even more, and you call even more
people. You occasionally refrain from calling;
it is your way of assuring yourself you have
things under control. At the same time, when
you call again, the urges are even stronger,
the feelings are more, and you go even more
deeply into the rabbit hole. But...

You did stop. So you have control.
You know you do.

But you wonder deep down inside,
do I really?

You silence that voice. You make it feel
wrong for wanting to question something so good.

And you keep going...

--

For anyone wondering...this is how things
can sometimes evolve when it comes to hypnosis.

There is trouble in your life and you find
an escape. Then you go to a place hypnotically
that becomes difficult to escape.

The problem is that it takes you away from
living a life that you could really love.

Maybe you don't love the life you live, but
if you escape it, you will never do anything
to change it.

Virtual life becomes better than the real one.

In actuality, if you are willing to take the
steps necessary, your real life could be
better than a virtual one - any day.

It is at a greater risk. It takes more work.
It has a greater level of difficulty because
the rewards are so much greater.

Of course, life is about choices, and you are
making choices all of the time, even when you
don't think you are (non choices are by default
choices).

Are you choosing wisely?

If you are in doubt, odds are you might want
to reconsider what you are doing.

A part of you knows what is best, and it also
knows that making a change won't always be the
easiest thing you ever do, but it also knows
it will likely come with the greatest reward.

That voice will never give up on you.

It loves you, and it knows what you are going
through. And it knows that if you continue on
the path you are on, you aren't doing yourself
any favors because in the end, you will discover
there was a price to pay that was greater than
any you would have paid to face things.

It will help you get what you need...
you just have to be willing to...LISTEN.

Consider that when an escape becomes your
life it ceases to be an escape...instead
it winds up being a form of a prison.

If these thoughts resonate for you know that
you can get what you need without compromising
yourself. And, the best part is you can get
it in a way that works for ALL of you, not
just a part.
 

Out of Fuel?

I just read the following quote,
and I thought others might find
it interesting:

A relationship with no trust
is like a car with no gasoline.
You can stay in it all you want
but it won't go anywhere.

(couldn't find an attribution.
If you know of one, please let
me know).

Might that hold true for a
relationship without love,
without respect, without...
as well?

Are the things that make a
relationship good and nourish
us the fuel that keeps a
relationship moving forward?

Is a relationship without
those things sitting metaphorically
disabled on the side of the road
complaining about being stuck, but
doing nothing about it?

So many stay in relationships
that don't go anywhere.
Are those relationships
out of fuel?

If this resonates for you you
might want to consider what can
be done to fuel up or find
an alternate way to go.

I bet where you are headed is
great...but what good is it
if you don't find a way to
get there?

What do you think?