Timing is Everything?

In the last few days there have been two stories
that I have read in which tragedy has been
averted by timing, as well as by choice.

The first story was about the stage at the
Indiana State Fair. While the events were
tragic, and 5 people died, there could have
been more deaths, had the performing act
been on stage at the time of the wind gust.

The second story was about a man in New Mexico
who, thanks to an unlikely series of events,
was in the right vicinity to save a little
girl from a kidnapping.

In both cases, timing played a role, but so
did choice. The manager of the group is the
one who told the performers to stay off the
stage, even after they were given the go ahead
by others who were present. The man could
have seen the events and done nothing about
it, however he chose to pursue the van and
man who was kidnapping the girl.

What if life is full of moments that have
the perfect timing, but we don't choose to
act? What if the times we feel stuck are
those times that decline to act in regard
to the situation in front of us?

I find sometimes people who feel stuck say
they don't have a choice. While it might
be difficult to consider, there is always
a choice - even a choice to do nothing is
a choice. Just because we don't like the
options doesn't mean they don't exist.

A baseball player can choose to swing at
a pitch, or not. But he doesn't even have
those choices available to him until he's
up at bat. What he may be able to do
will have to do with his timing. He may
get a single, and be the first one on
base, or he could come up with the bases
loaded and walk. Either way his choices
get him on base, however the timing
contributes to what the ultimate outcome
is going to be.

If you hit a ball that goes to the
outfield and is caught, you may be
the last out of the game, or you may
be responsible for the winning run.

There are lots of possibilities, many
of which are dictated by the timing.
Some of which are more preferable than
others.

What are you going to do the next time
you're at bat? How are you going to
see what you have done? What if winning
isn't dictated by a particular outcome,
but rather by the fact that you just played?

So maybe it isn't timing that is everything.
Maybe it's Timing+Choice+Perspective that
makes us who we are and has everything to
do with why we sometimes feel stuck or
motivated. And just maybe it is the choices
that we make that create the timing we have.

Maybe it is not HOW life happens that is
important, but rather that it DOES.
And maybe it is not so much about what
happens, as much as it is about how we
view our world and ourselves as a result.

Maybe.

Just a thought to nibble on, or not.

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please click below:

What if every day you had to choose...?

I have often said that relationships
are a choice, and that when a person
feels committed to another, instead
of recognizing the commitment, the
person sometimes feels as though s/he
no longer has a choice and - in some
cases - sets out to prove otherwise.

The fact is that there is always a
choice, and the choice may be to simply
affirm the choice already made.

I got to wondering if we had to daily
make the choice to be in a relationship,
or lose it by default, what would happen.

Would people feel compelled to make the
choice from a place of fear? Would they
freely choose it? If things were going
badly that day would they let it go
without much effort to work it out?

Would they choose the relationship they
committed to because it is a relationship
they wanted to be in?

In some ways our life is set up with
default settings any way. Our lack of
action and choice will often give us
our experience of life, and the inaction
will be a choice by default.

Is it comforting to know that choices
are made without your conscious consent
and with your lack of participation?

I guess that would depend on the outcome.

While I am speaking about relationships,
this conversation could work for all
kinds of things, and non-romantic
relationships, as well.

If you're brave enough, you might want to
ask yourself if you had to choose the
people and things in your life all over
again, right now, would you?

If the answer is "yes," then you can
choose them again, and reinforce their
presence in your life.

If the answer is "no," then you might
want to consider what it is that is
lacking so that you might be able to
"add it in," and therefore make a
different choice.

If you're unable to "add it in," then
you might want to consider that it is
time to make some different choices.
And, if that is the case, odds are you
already know some of the options (really,
you likely do - you'd be surprised how
we hide things from ourselves sometimes),
you just have to be willing to acknowledge
them and choose them for them to
become viable options for you.

As with most things...easy? Ha!
But worth it? Can't say for sure, but
odds are, yes.

A new calendar year is almost upon us
so you may even be considering resolutions.
While I am not really a fan of them, any
opportunity to review where we are and
where we're going can be a good thing.
 

The Opportunity of Choice | One Step at a Time

I took a seminar once in which
there was an exercise in which
the participants were instructed
on how to break an arrow in the
hollow of their neck.

Quite understandably, there were
some people who were scared about
doing it. Further adding to the
fear, there was even a legal
disclaimer that needed to be
signed before anyone could proceed.

If you didn't sign the disclaimer,
you couldn't do the exercise.

If you signed the disclaimer, you
could still choose not to do the
exercise, but it would be an option.

I was reminded about this when I
was watching a video of Huckabee
with Liz Murray, a woman with an
incredible story that has at a cornerstone
the idea of choice.

She talks about how it might have
been unlikely to be accepted into
Harvard, but she chose to act and
"see what happens."

There is absolutely no chance she
would have been accepted if she
didn't apply. Just like there would
be no arrow experience without a
signed disclaimer.

In either case, opportunities were
expanded by choices made.

I remember being quite fearful myself,
at first. But knew that one choice
did not mean I needed to put the arrow
head to my throat. I knew I would
still have another choice to make,
one that wouldn't exist if I refused
to sign.

At the same time, there was someone
else who was so terrified, she couldn't
even bring herself to signing the
document.

Some might say she was the sane one
(it can sometimes seem insane to go
against what is known). However,
in the end, I chose to break that
arrow using my throat to do it,
learning a thing or two along
the way.

Focused on fear you will likely
limit your possibilities. Focused
on possibilities, you will likely
expand your world.

When faced with something that seems
big and formidable it is easy to lose
sight of the steps along the way.

But when you consider the steps, you
can inch closer to this thing that
seems impossible to obtain when you
think it has to happen in one big leap.
And each step provides another opening
and opportunity and another choice to
be made.

Much of life is built upon what comes
before, and sometimes you just never
know til you know, you know?

Perhaps consider giving yourself a chance
to find out what is possible - one step
(one choice) at a time.
 

The Wisdom of Choice

"And I submit that this is what the real,
no bullshit value of your liberal arts
education is supposed to be about: how to
keep from going through your comfortable,
prosperous, respectable adult life dead,
unconscious, a slave to your head and to
your natural default setting of being
uniquely, completely, imperially alone
day in and day out."
- David Foster Wallace

David Foster Wallace gave a Commencement
Speech called This is Water. It is
difficult to masterfully sum up his words,
however he does a great job of being real
in what he shares, and in what he defines
as wisdom.

His words have become a book, however
within the back rooms of the internet the
text is still available and they are a
very worthy read, should you be willing
to make the time.

He does a great job of explaining the
hypnotic effect on life. Whether or
not that was his intention, who knows?
He speaks in very practical and down
to earth helpful terms to graduating
students, but his words of wisdom can
potentially resonate for anyone willing
to consider what he has said.

Let me know what you think.
 

Living Life by Default?

Given our tendency to function
from our unconscious state
(which is about 80% of the
time and which also has a
consistent, workable, and
comfortable pattern based
on an association we've made -
whether it is truly good for
us - or not. Complicating
things, the unconscious
thinks it is good by the very
fact that it is "known" and
familiar) we tend to live
life by default more often
than by choice.

Making choices can oftentimes
short-circuit the default
mechanism, which in turn can
cause discomfort which can
have you running back to the
behavior that doesn't really
work for you.

You are most likely to have
that experience of things
when you go to alter something
the first few times.

The more you work on it, the
easier it will likely become.
In addition, if you simultaneously
work on figuring out the cause
of the behavior you can turbo
boost making any changes you
want to.

That is, provided of course
YOU want to make the changes.

That is, provided of course
you WANT to make the changes.

If it's time to make a change,
consider taking a moment before
doing something to consciously
make a choice. It will help
you to stop having a life by
default.

Easy?

Nope.

(Sorry)

Worth it?

Probably - but only you know if it is.

PS By the way, in case you
weren't aware of it, since
hypnosis interacts mainly
with your unconscious, it
is a helpful tool to help
make new connections, and
making changes can become
easier as a result.
 

Random thoughts | Fear | Choice | Ego

What if fear is your ego's
way of attempting to keep
you from failing?

How does it know you
would fail if you chose
to act?

Are our life's experiences
limited by our
ego's desire to stay safe?

What's so wrong with
failure? 

Your first attempts at
walking were failures.

Your first attempts at
speaking were failures.

Your first attempts at
writing were failures.

As we age, it seems we
grow out of the expectation
that we are likely to fail
on our way to success.

Is it a bigger failure to
never try than it is to try
and not succeed?

How can we possibly know
the outcome of all of the
things we suspect we will
fail at?

And...why aren't we willing
to give ourselves some
breathing room?  After all,
the attempt may bring success,
or bring the info need for a
future attempt's success.

Just a few of the things on my
mind today...
 

It's About Choice | Video | MP3

The following video is about how
choice effects us...and not
necessarily in a good way.

It's an interesting perspective
and conversation. After you
watch, I'd love to know what
you think!



Are you a current caller of mine?
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even more?
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You Have A Choice?

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and it helps you to be a
good boy and please me.

It makes your choice easy,
and pleasurable.

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speak with me live,
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